Sunday, November 08, 2009


I feel depressed. I was faced with something about myself that isn't
good - a major character flaw, and that's knocked the wind out of my
sails. So forgive the melancholy tone of today's post.
Humans are basically need-driven creatures. Some people rise above
this, but the vast majority of people, by & large, fall into this box
for most of their lives. Take me, for instance. I like X, because I
need companionship & a long-term 'someone' of the opposite sex who's
'my very own' (not to mention that she looks great & is smart -
definite major pluses). But X is a smart, classy lady doing great for
herself, so she doesn't really give me the time of day (by the way,
this is a true story. Mine. From the distant past. And stop guessing),
because she doesn't need me. So we have a quandary. I, from
need-propelled wants, want to be in a relationship, but she doesn't
need me. So I need to try to sell myself to her (do I really need to
say that I botched it? I was hardly a blip on her radar: "I came to
tell you I love you, would do anything for you & want to be with you
forever" "that's nice, dear <head pat>. Please shut the door on your
way out" It didn't really happen that way, but the evoked feelings
would probably be much the same). And with that one requirement, as we
say here, she don fall my hand. One of my friends once said it seemed
to him that women liked the idea of me. I'm currently wondering if the
idea of a guy who has so far sucked at selling himself is so amusing
to them. I think it is. As an example, I met a lady during camp, and
we exchanged numbers. Apparently she lost her phone, and since then,
has given a friend her number twice, for me. Both numbers were
unavailable on the networks they would have been on (had they
existed). I don't think it's funny, but apparently someone else is
I've finally downed my dinner of fried plantain, spaghetti, fish stew,
egusi soup & fish. No, I'm not living the life. I don't call 4+ hours
cooking & finding a cut you don't remember inflicting on your little
finger 'the life'. You might.
Well, I'm finally sleepy. So maybe when I wake up, I'll feel better. Later

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1 comment:

Ivo Serentha and Friends said...

My compliments for your blog,I encourage you to photoblog,

Even week another photo album

Greetings from Italy,