Untouched

Gbolahan Odukoya @ KIC, Ogudu (16/10/2011)

2011-10-18T07:59:00.001+01:00

Heavy Traffic

2011-10-17T10:57:00.001+01:00

So bad, even the motorcyclists couldn’t move.

Man-O'-War session

2011-10-11T11:56:00.001+01:00

my platoon's session when i was in camp, two years ago. please enjoy, if you will

Blossom Saints

2011-10-05T09:33:00.002+01:00

A quick video of a performance during the Independence Celebration on the 2nd. A poor video, but the dancers are better than the video makes them seem. Enjoy.

Weekend Blues

2011-10-03T19:42:00.001+01:00

Had a busy weekend. No real holiday for me. Major church program on Sunday, prepping for it Saturday. To get in the spirit of the celebration, I followed Jonathan Williamson’s CG Cookie tutorial on creating a bunch of balloons. After some hemming and hawing, I ended up with this (Sky texture was a free download from CG Textures), with no compositing:

After doing some of the composition Jonathan mentioned in the video, I got a brighter (but personally not-as-pleasing result – I think the balloons had much better coloring/shadow in the first):

Anyhow, I was supposed to get a wallpaper from it, and since The Gospel According to Rap were to be guests for the service, I got their picture emailed to me. Unfortunately, due to sucky internet, I could only download half the picture, and even then only on my BlackBerry, so I ended up with this:

Hopefully, it wasn’t a complete waste of time, but I’ll let you decide. Anyhow, here are some pictures from the meeting, with a little love for the guys on the instruments:

Later.

The rules of engagement

2011-09-30T14:38:00.001+01:00

This post has been a long time in the making. It should have been out about three weeks ago, but…I got lazy. No matter. It’s getting out now, even though since I’m going to be dredging it out of my memory, I might be a bit fuzzy on the details. Oh, and please forgive the controversial heading. It was the best I could think of at the time.

A while back, my special lady came visiting for a weekend. At first, I was cool, and then, the day before she came, my emotions went into hyperdrive. But I digress. I’d made all sorts of plans, but in the words immortalized in Burns’ To A Mouse,

the best-laid schemes of mice and men
gang aft agley

That said, one of the things I had lined up was a visit to my pastor, Pastor Nuel Manufor of KingsWord International Church, Ikeja. We had about an hour or so to chat with him, and he was a great blessing to us both. Basically, this post is about what he said to us that day.

I’ve never really liked the word “dating” or the phrases “going out”, “in a relationship” and other isms we use so often these days. Pastor Nuel opened by asking what was going on between us both. I said I didn’t like the word “dating”, but it was close to what we had. He asked if we were just testing the waters, just to see if we wanted to get married. We replied that we weren’t. So he asked us to describe what was going on, and we said we were in a relationship. He said each one of us was in a relationship with him, and asked if that was the same kind of relationship we had with each other.

Ultimately, he gave us a word that’s not in common use today, “courting”, and said we shouldn’t be afraid to say we were engaged, or call each other fiancé or fiancée. Someone might wonder why he made such a big deal of it all, after all, wasn’t it Shakespeare who said, “a rose, by any other name, would smell just as sweet”? In retrospect, I realize it was important. The name given to something at its beginning matters greatly. It can set the tone and destination for it, because a name tends to define a thing (please see Gen 2:19, 35:18; 1 Chron 4:9.10). I don’t intend to argue this point.

He then proceeded to ask us to set some boundaries. He mentioned that the Bible recognized married people and unmarried people, but not people in courtship, and that he believed that people in courtship were biblically no different from single people. He addressed Busa and said that she needed to look at me as being no different from any man she passed on the road getting to his office; she should treat me as she would treat anyone else.

By implication (and explication), we weren’t supposed to be kissing or caressing or any of all of that. He specifically mentioned to me that he hoped I wasn’t focused on her boobs, body or butt. He said people tend to ask, “how far is too far?”, and that it is a foolish question because if you’re not going to Ibadan, you just don’t take the bus to Ibadan. We would consider the person who got on the bus to Ibadan and asked how far enough from – say, Lagos, they would have to go to be too far from Lagos crazy, with good reason.

It’s completely human to want to push the envelope, and there’s a compound word for that: self-deception (hypocrisy, if you really want one word). At this point, I have to admit that what I was hearing was battling my desire to kiss her and hold her in my arms, put my arms around her waist…sorry, please excuse the temporary sanity loss. I have to be honest, the entire weekend wasn’t easy. I am so grateful and blessed that she stood her ground, not once, but several times.

I remember reading part of Kevin Roose’s book, The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester At America’s Holiest University, and he made an interesting point: that at his previous school, Brown, he faced a lot of pressure trying to go to bed with women. At Liberty, once he accepted the fact that sex was off the menu, he was freer with women and actually developed better relationships with them. It kind of tallies with what Pastor Nuel said, that lust (operating through sexual desires), allowed in male-female relationship, blinds people and clouds judgment, hence his questions to me – considering that it’s said that sex is among a man’s top five needs. Yes, ladies, you read that right – not wants, but needs. It may not be as basic as air, food, clothing or water, but it’s top on the list of priorities, or so I’m told (this is where you use your fingers to google this).

I’ve a personal story here: I had a descent into relational and emotional hell that began with a kiss. For years, I’d mentally “skirted the fringes” (and deep-dived into infernal regions) and fell, hard, when I was in a situation to realize my mental conditioning. I didn’t really recover for almost 4 years. No, you don’t get the details. If you paid me for my memoirs, though…maybe. Despite this, I still wanted to kiss Busa. Several times. I suppose it implies I haven’t learned anything .

Moving on, Pastor Nuel talked about how to look at courtship. He said it’s like a model of house as compared with the house. You use the model to get an idea of what the house would be like, but – to use his exact words – you would need to reduce yourself and your destiny to live in the model. He mentioned Jesus’ words in Luke 14:28-32:

Luke 14:28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sits not down first, and counts the cost, whether he has enough to finish it?
Luke 14:29 Lest perhaps, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him,
Luke 14:30 Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.
Luke 14:31 Or what king, going to make war against another king, sits not down first, and consults whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him that comes against him with twenty thousand?
Luke 14:32 Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation, and desires conditions of peace.

He talked at length that courtship is about counting the cost, living with light and eyes wide open. He said that if you count the cost from the model and realize you come up short, you could decide:

To settle for a different building than the one represented by the model – in other words, end the relationship and look for someone else.
To go and get what is needed to build what you want – develop whatever you decide is lacking – in order to continue with the same person.

He mentioned that most people in courtship relationships settle. They heard God, they say, so there doesn’t need to be anything added. They don’t work on developing their relationship. God said so, so it must work out. That attitude is wrong. He encouraged us not to settle into “couple mode”, but instead keep working on ourselves and each other. He asked us to be open with each other, and not afraid of terminating the courtship, and to expect more from ourselves and each other instead of developing what Max Lucado calls “stuckititis”.

He mentioned that we should see it as though we were in a simulator, learning to fly a plane. We should give ourselves space to make mistakes and crash while in the simulator – where crashes may be sad but definitely not fatal – than crash in the real plane (with appropriately disastrous consequences).

This is just a brief rundown of some of the main points Pastor Nuel mentioned, but I hope it blesses young people who are in – or planning to get into – a marital relationship. Later.

P.S: Actually, this is so important, it shouldn’t be a postscript, but since I forgot it…anyway, Pastor Nuel asked why we started the relationship. In other words, in our building analogy, what was the foundation? He mentioned that we might feel all warm and fuzzy and in love, but that the feeling would come and go. Go so completely, sometimes, he warned, that we had better have more than that as the foundation for getting together – so to speak. He said he was convinced about the person that he is married to now, and that he’s met physically more attractive women since, but that conviction about her was missing with anyone else. He said being “in love” was overrated, because it can’t get people through tough, rocky times in their relationships. As one of my favourite preachers once joked, he and his wife had considered murder, but never divorce.

P.P.S: Pastor Nuel said earlier in his life and ministry, he was more insistent that courting relationships shouldn’t break up, but now that he has had some more experience, he’d rather people have broken courtships than broken marriages.

And that’s about it for now. If I remember anything else that I consider important, I’ll update this post below here.

23-09-11

2011-09-23T01:51:00.007+01:00

I really should get into the habit of writing daily, though I'd rather not always do it on this blog. But it has been a while since I last blogged, and even longer since I used the web interface to do so (I'm really sorry if you post a comment and it takes a while for it to show up - I moderate comments, but since I rarely use the web interface and use Windows Live Writer instead, I usually don't remember people actually comment on my posts).

In garnering motivation to write daily, I've some from a most unusual source - Poppy Disney, who authored the photoblog What I Wore Today (now just an archive). She isn't the kind of person I would be interested in 'normally', but I read her story and was particularly struck by the fact that no matter how tired or ill she was, she would drag herself to post daily. That kind of commitment, rare in the world today, has helped her make a business out of her blog. It's even more awesome if you consider that for about a year, it didn't look like a business would grow from her interest.

between my phone, Opera Mini and Blogger's new interface, I'm really getting stressed out, so it's quits for now. Later

What I did this weekend

2011-08-22T14:52:00.001+01:00

Did a wallpaper for church. Didn’t like it, so I redid it with a similar theme but different ‘feel’. It wasn’t used, but I won’t mind comments and crits. Enjoy! Oh, yeah, photos were from stock.xchng.

PS: Please excuse me if you comment and don’t see your comments. I moderate comments (due to spam), but I don’t often login to the Blogger website. I’ll work on making logging in a habit.

Man power, woman power

2011-08-20T11:04:00.001+01:00

My sweetheart just sent me an email with this in. Laugh at it, but please remember the real point: a successful and prospering relationship needs the two parties involved. Enjoy!

Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for
a little chat. He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something. On my
wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them
to your mother, and said, 'Here - try these on.' She did and said,
'These are too big, I can't wear them.' I replied, 'Exactly, I wear
the pants in this family and I always will.'
'Ever since that night we never had any problems.' 'Hmmm,' said Mike.
He thought that might be a good thing to try. On his honeymoon, Mike
took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here - try these on.' She tried
them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.' Mike said,
'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't
want you to ever forget that.' Then Karen took off her pants and
handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here-you try on mine.' He did and
said, 'I can't get into your pants.' Karen said, 'Exactly. And if you
don't change your smart ass attitude, you never will.' And they lived
happily ever after.

Hello, fear

2011-08-19T22:46:00.001+01:00

I first saw this post’s title from Kirk Franklin’s Twitter timeline. The last few days have brought to me with great force just how endemic fear is. I refused to start learning again because I was rusty – because I was afraid to grow. You refused to take that responsibility because you thought it was too much for you – you were afraid of “blowing it” and falling flat on your face. Every day, in every area of life, we meet a new face of this extremely versatile enemy. We cannot estimate how much good is not done, and how much evil is allowed to propagate because of fear.

Today, I ask to join me and face your fear against the surge of adrenaline (you probably have no idea just how accurate the “fright or flight” name is). Meet your fear face to face. Then ignore it. And do just what it doesn’t want you to do. Every day, you will meet this enemy. You may never completely conquer it – none of us does – but at least you will have lived instead of have cowered out an existence.

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” – C.S. Lewis

On trust

2011-08-17T23:09:00.001+01:00

Sorry about the short post. My brain is about to quit on me and go to sleep. It’s jes’ pure, cussed stubbornness that’s keeping me going right about now. That, and I’d like to see how succinctly I can summarize a point (I’d like to be like Teju Cole, who tells interesting stories in 140 characters or less. He has mastered using Twitter, in my opinion)

I was chatting with my special lady today, and I wanted her to do something for me. She said she would, but for some reason I felt like asking her to confirm it. I realized that itch was my lack of trust in people in general coming to the fore (when you’ve been shot at several times, unless you intend to die, you learn to move away when you see an archer), but that it was a really bad seed to sow into our relationship. Right there, I had to tell myself that if I needed her to trust my words, then I needed to do the same to her.

Who do you need to trust today? Who needs you trusting them today? Think about it, and look for relationships where distrust is carrying over into, and potentially ruining.

On mentoring

2011-08-12T13:59:00.001+01:00

Talking with my special lady about a couple of things, she mentioned that I should read books and listen to mentors. When we talk sometimes, she mentions going to see a mentor about stuff (yup, she consulted with a mentor about me). Not being the first time she’d brought up the matter, I had to ask myself if I had any mentors.

Before I try to attempt to deep-dive into the issue, I need to address the definition of the word “mentor” itself. It has become one of the most overused – and equally misused – words in the English language, as far as people in my age bracket and country are concerned, anyway.

The word “mentor” is from Mentor, a character in Homer’s Odyssey. Mentor was a friend to the hero of the Odyssey, Odysseus (or Ulysses, if you prefer the Roman form). Odysseus left his palace, his wife, Penelope, and young son, Telemachus, in Mentor’s care. Mentor was supposed to raise Telemachus as Odysseus would have have. Please see this Wikipedia article for more information on Mentor and mentoring.

By implication from the source, mentoring implies a close personal relationship between mentor and protégé, which is a cause of much personal amusement when some young person proudly says, “So-and-so is my mentor”, and I’m certain know So-and-so doesn’t have the foggiest that that young person even exists! “Role model” would be a much more appropriate description, but I do not intend to become a semantics Nazi.

One of the duties of a mentor is to “scan the protégé’s life for viruses”, as I put it. One deliberately gives one’s mentor the authority to correct them. Unfortunately, so many of the self-styled protégés of the renowned people we have today would not be willing to put themselves under anyone’s authority, much less that of the people they call '”mentor”.

Anyhow, back to my original point: I’ve had to ask myself if I had mentoring, and have to conclude, by and large, no, I don’t. It’s a humbling discovery. If I’d had mentoring, I might have possibly done a whole lot more than I have at this point. I’ve to look for mentoring in the areas of my life I consider important, where I want to make progress in.

In my currently chosen area of endeavour, I don’t see a whole lot of mentoring going on. Most developers/techies have this “I pulled myself up by my bootstraps” thing going on. Probably because by nature, we’re independents, but that’s another thing.

I really would like to polish and make this post a lot better, but it’s in danger of not getting out of draft (I’m in “meh” mode. Again. Sigh), so I’d best hit that “Publish” button.

Do you have a mentor?

The deception of unusual

2011-07-22T05:57:00.001+01:00

I’m not going to say that this blog post was inspired by some philosophical musings brought on by the loss of my phone yesterday, only that it was long overdue that I wrote something new.

I was thinking about some things just now, specifically about some of the stuff I wanted to do, and how little progress I felt I had made. Then it hit me: I didn’t want to pay the price for extraordinary. I looked at what I believe I’d accomplished, looked at what I thought I wanted to accomplish, looked at what I thought myself capable of as at now, and wanted to quit, because I felt I wasn’t where I wanted to be, and that the immediate next thing seemed so ordinary.

Please mark that emphasized phrase. Really think about it. Don’t think you appreciate the enormity of that little phrase just because your eyes read it and your brain processed it. Permit me to ask you to drink it in.

Ordinary. That’s a despised word in the English language today. Ordinary doesn’t seem glamorous. It’s not heroic. It’s not mind-numbingly, breathtakingly beautiful. It’s not something any of us intends to aspire to. And yet, for all of us – including the heroes – ordinary will form the meat and potatoes – the main portion – of our lives.

Why is ordinary so despised? I think this partially has to do with our means of taking history. I’ll start with a tweet I saw last night that initially threatened to depress me. Someone tweeted about a certain 21-year-old who sold her startup for $10m. Immediately I had the sickening feeling in my gut of someone who’s a lot closer to 30 than 20 and doesn’t apparently have a great deal to show for it, especially when compared with such a success story.

We humans are time-bound creatures. We can’t exactly wait to live the entire story of your life with you, so we take snapshots. We trim out “fat”. We are masters of compression – the highest compression algorithms on the planet have nothing on us. The issue, really, is that our compression algorithm is less of PNG and more of JPEG – it’s incredibly lossy. One person’s 55-year-long journey may take us up to a week to go through. That means we covered their life story almost 3000 times at the regular rate. Thing is, bub, you walk in the park that fast, you might miss something. That’s probably why people who notice things in videos in all these movies often ask for the video to be slowed down, not sped up.

So we do our editing. We speed things up, and we cut out the “cruft”, and – tada! – our life story is ready for high-speed consumption. But we missed something. Somethings, in fact. Lots of things. Stuff we thought didn’t matter. Guess what gets cut out the most? The most ordinary stuff. But that’s the meat and potatoes of life. Ordinary stuff. And let’s face it, we humans generally suck at determining the value of any one moment, which is why we have babies who never grew out of not having cake when they were five, and people who forget that one special thing someone said that spurred them on when they were about to give up. Sometimes, we get lucky. But most times, we don’t really value our moments like we should. We tend to over- and under-value our moments.

As an example, I’ll never forget meeting the person who’s now my girlfriend. Ordinary day. Nothing special. Good-looking young lady. Obviously smart. Bit of a drama queen. Friendly. Easy to tease, especially with evil laughter. Snap, snap, snap. I don’t think I got her phone number until about 3-4 months later, after a somewhat embarrassing outcome to repeated teasing (no, I am not telling what happened that day, only that I let things get a little out of, or rather, into, hand). I actually gave her an impossible condition on what would make me go out with her (it was a joke on something). Over a year later, she’s a great source of joy and support to me. But it didn’t look like it when we first met.

Our first meeting was ordinary. Our getting close was ordinary. I don’t think I really noticed it until someone commented, “you tell her everything”. There were no flashing lights or alarms. It didn’t fit within the boundaries set by romance novels. The sight of her wasn’t making my heart race – I wasn’t even seeing her.

I said all that to say this: ordinary happens. To every one of us. And sometimes ordinary can give birth to the profound. But we need to allow it be ordinary. And not watch it too much, worry about it too much, or it might abort and not produce. Dream about the unusual, the far out, the spectacular. It’s absolutely necessary if you will ever produce anything great. So plug it daily. You may not notice your small improvements, but those are what will make you – and keep you – a rock star.

“The kingdom of God is like this,” He said. “A man scatters seed on the ground; he sleeps and rises — night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows — he doesn’t know how. The soil produces a crop by itself — first the blade, then the head, and then the ripe grain on the head. But as soon as the crop is ready, he sends for the sickle, because the harvest has come.”
– The Bible, Mark 4:26-29

A day babysitting

2011-07-19T13:39:00.001+01:00

Governor B.R. Fashola declared the 11th of July as a public holiday in Lagos state to help Lagos residents recover from the flooding caused by the heavy rain on the 10th of July. I didn’t go to work that day, and neither did Leke go to crèche. Guess who ended up babysitting? Here are some memories from that day.

PDP! In my house!

Most politicians move to PDP in Nigeria. This brave young man is daring to leave PDP.

Finally left the PDP for…abeg na! Which party uses a bucket?

Omo, this one na serious work o!

You just stand there dey snap photo? Will you come and help me move this bucket upstairs? Hurry before I drool all over you and slap you!

The laziness wey hook this guy get can’t fit haff part 2. Abeg, make I tidy my own package, bo!

“It’s not an easy road…”

Em, you know, Jesus said, “Which of you wanting to build a tower will not first sit down and count the cost…”. Well, I am counting the cost here! Don’t rush me!

I’m so good, I can do this with my head covered.

See? I told you I could do it! Yes I can!

Help! I have been slipper (flip-flop)-napped!

Yup, I’m badass. Do NOT, EVER, ever, try me.

Why I’ve been a lousy Christian

2011-07-08T08:23:00.001+01:00

It’s been too long since I last wrote. I really should have never taken a hiatus. Life, on the other hand, doesn’t always give advance notice of stuff that’s going to affect yours. Stuff’s been going on, and for that reason, my little piece of internet real estate has gone untended. That, and the fact that I threw a grand-scale pity party for myself. But as a quote I read today by Henry Van Dyke goes:

Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang but the best.

For a little while now, I’ve been listening to Andrew Wommack and Keith Moore (I resumed listening because God used a friend to ask for Brother Keith’s messages), and their individual ministries have been a great blessing. I was talking with my girlfriend about some things they said in some of their messages a little while back, and it dawned on me that I hadn’t been that excited in a while about anything.

In particular, I was listening to Brother Andrew’s series titled Discover the Keys to Staying Full of God (free MP3 downloads here) yesterday, and he began talking about esteeming, or valuing God. I realized that despite all my posturing and talking, I didn’t really value God.

When you value a person, that person’s opinion matters. What they think, what they feel, their company and total person — all of that weighs a lot when things are thrown into a mix, for instance, when a decision has to be made. Now that I’m thinking about it, “weight” is an excellent word to describe how much value a person (or thing) has (to someone). As an example, once when my girlfriend and I had a disagreement, I really felt bad. She was ticked off at something insensitive I’d done, and it was looking to ruin my day. In other words, my girlfriend’s opinion of my actions weighed a great deal when added into the mix of the (decidedly unconscious) decision of what attitude to maintain (don’t look at me like that; it is/was a decision. You may like it or not, but that’s the way it is) on that particular day.

How I knew I didn’t value God when I analyzed my life? Glad you asked (I know you didn’t, but work with me here, ok?):

I didn’t want to spend time with Him (this is a relative thing: I did my church routine, regular as clockwork, always on time and all that, but He — God, the Person — took a back seat to church — the system). Basically, I didn’t value His Person.
I didn’t value His words. One of the things I do deliberately is tell my girlfriend I love her at least once every single day. Sometimes, I don’t feel like it. I’m learning to (I haven’t arrived, but I’ve left, to steal Brother Andrew’s words ) go over things we’ve talked about, read her text messages over again — giving her (and specifically, her words) “mind time” (as Brother Keith calls it). I realized I didn’t consciously give God – or His words – mind time.
Also, I valued other people’s words over His (this, again, is a matter or relativity: When words are frapped in your mind as though in a blender – food processor for readers with a US bent – whose words tend to color and flavour the resulting mix – this is also known as your decision – the most?): Here where I live, intellectual property piracy (and flagrant disregard of copyright law) is pretty much a normal thing. Ephesians 4:28 (King James 2000 version) says: Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needs.
That verse has itched in my head for a while now. I’ve suppressed it several times, talking about the relatively high cost of legal copies of intellectual property (for software, monetary cost, for other kinds like books, music, movies, that, and sometimes simply the trouble of getting it at all; if you’ve ever tried buying stuff over the internet in Nigeria, you’ll understand my point – I once got a catalog via mail from a company that claimed they didn’t ship their free ebooks to Nigeria! Why ship when you can provide a download?), talking it over with people, trying to rationalize what God was saying away. And that’s just one example.
I didn’t value His actions. One of the most touching things my girlfriend did before we starting our relationship as it is (sorry, but I really dislike the word ‘dating’) was call me when I was suffering from a cold. It doesn’t seem important until you realize she was a student in another country at the time. I still treasure the thought. She said it was to hear what I sounded like with a cold, but (goofy smile moment coming right up) I know better. She cared about me, and it made me feel loved and very special.
God’s given me so much, and I’m pretty much never grateful in return, relatively speaking. I’ve complained about my job, my boss, my family, my leaders, my friends, humanity in general – it’s a wonder He still loves me.

So, what’s happened since? I’m working on it. I haven’t arrived, but I can say I’ve left. I’m deliberately giving more weight to God (meaning right now I’ve to stop blogging and get to work – see Colossians 3:22-23). What about you? What will you do with God?

Quality time with Mr. Laykey

2011-05-27T09:02:00.001+01:00

Change, they say, is the only constant thing in life. I’ve recently found out that Mr. Baby grew on me (apparently while I wasn’t looking), so he’s now a big guy. As such, I have to “promote” him from Mr. Baby to Mr. Laykey (plus, he’s the house chairman. And he can slap me if he wants to, so I’d better behave.)

Anyhow, here are some of the highlights from this week:

Do NOT try me. As you might have noticed, I’ve been weight training. I will kick your butt from here to the hereafter if you try me.

I’m just hanging with this dude. Like he’s my charity case for the week. Now get that camera off my face. I really don’t want to be seen in public with this dude. I mean, I’m way too cool to really be hanging with him!

Economics in simple terms

2011-05-03T14:16:00.002+01:00

just got this on Twitter from Gaminegirlie, and it was worth a couple of laughs, so i thought to share.

Economics in simple terms

You see a girl at a party:

You say, “I am very rich, marry me” — that’s direct marketing.
One of your friends pointing at you says, “He is very rich, marry him” — that’s advertising.
She walks up to you and says, “You are very rich, can you marry me?” — that’s brand recognition.
You say, “I am very rich, marry me” and she gives you a nice hard slap — that’s customer feedback.
You say to her, “Marry me” and she introduces her husband — that’s demand and supply gap.
Before you say anything your wife arrives — that’s restriction on entry of new firm.

Very simple terms, no?

A not-so-quiet afternoon with Mr Baby

2011-04-18T19:52:00.001+01:00

After going to my polling unit to vote on Saturday, I got saddled with Mr Baby, who, in typical fashion, was having trouble being convinced by his body that he was overdue for sleep. As such, we had some fun together (or so I’d like to think). Anyhow, please enjoy!

Mr Baby (re-)discovers my mouse. I discover my afternoon has been disturbed.

Dude, are you sure you’re interested in Java Enterprise Edition? Why don’t we do something fun, like splash water on a working voltage regulator (I kid you not)?

Yup. Java EE. Contexts & Dependency Injection.

Now look what you done! You done broke it! This mouse ain’t mousing!

Now, I have to fix it! What have you to say for yourself?

Fixing in progress. Do NOT disturb. Unless you want me to bust out my kung-fu.

Are you sure you didn’t use the cable for something else? It still isn’t mousing.

When all else fails, I have to use that method. And don’t look at me like that. You broke it, not I.

Let’s see what this Java EE thing is all about, anyway. No, I don’t need your input. I know exactly what I’m doing.

Why don’t you clean your laptop? Now I have to spit-shine it (yes, that’s actual drool on the touchpad).

Java EE is boring! So let’s go do something fun, like wrestle alligators.

I bet you’re jealous that I can wash my car right in the house and you can’t (this was right after the water-splashing incident. There was a bowl full of water on that stool. Thank God for mercy).

The Cycle of Achievement

2011-01-29T21:34:00.001+01:00

Let’s step right in. Here’s the achiever:

Here’s the prize (shown contextually):

The achiever strategizes, then moves heaven and earth (or in this particular case, a rocker) to get the prize:

The achiever, after braving terrific odds, gets the prize:

And enjoys the sweet, sweet taste of success (yes, success does have a metallic taste. Everybody knows that):

Depending on your viewpoint, the cheese is moved, or the prize is taken from the achiever:

And the achiever moves on to The Next Big Thing™:

And that concludes our study of The Cycle of Achievement. Many thanks to our achiever for sparing time from his busy schedule of achieving to contribute his quota to the development of the world.

Until next time.

Penny wise, pound foolish (and other, possibly related, matters)

2011-01-18T05:26:00.001+01:00

Social Innovation Camp Nigeria ended Saturday night, and with it, two days of near hell on earth. More on SICamp Nigeria later, though.

At work a little while back, we had a hiccup with our messaging server. In the attempt to resolve the issues, we uninstalled the server application and reinstalled it a couple of times (at the end of the day, the actual problem was unrelated).

This particular product comes with a web-based user portal. Uninstalling the application also wiped out the web pages. Normally, it might not have been a major issue, but the problem is that we’d made some expensive customizations to the portal (expensive because the portal runs on ASP — no, not ASP.NET, classic ASP, in VBScript, no less — and over 80 per cent of the markup of the pages is churned out using Request.Write statements. I can almost hear the screams), and in my haste to resolve the bigger problem (how to get messages moving again), I created a new problem, namely, resetting the web portal to (crappy) factory settings.

I’d tried several times to write a new web portal in .NET but always gave up before getting far (yes, story of my life). After the server application started working properly, my next task was to make the portal usable again (practically all our customers who use the web portal need at least one of our customizations, some JavaScript tweaks a colleague worked in, which got lost when the uninstall ran). Unfortunately, just when I wanted a quiet day to spend coding, we had visitors. And Mr Baby decided to be very active. So I didn’t get anything done when I had motivation, and by the time everyone left and I had no calls on my attention I was too tired to see straight.

Today, I decided (I can’t remember the exact motivation, though) to try to replace the functionality missing in the pages. Now, I haven’t done JavaScript in ages (over 4 years, I guess I really do dislike doing human interface development), so the development time was split between W3Schools, ##javascript on Freenode, Chrome’s developer tools and Eloquent JavaScript. I ran into some hiccups, but I got it done at last.

Now comes the irony

One of our clients complained that they couldn’t use the old system, so I cooked up a Python script to use the web service interface of the messaging server to send messages for them. After I completed the change, I emailed them to try the new modifications. The lady called later to complain, “it’s not responding”, and with a plea to send the messages for her.

All that work for nothing. And then someone will ask me why I think women are unreasonable.

24-12-2010

2010-12-24T15:00:00.001+01:00

Not much up. Recently, been trying to get back into 3D. As usual, fell into the temptation of “too much, too little”. Installed too many apps (have to get Softimage Mod Tool and Crosswalk off my box). Looked for too many tutorials, got interested in too many things (yep, struggling right now not to install LMMS), but did too little actual work.

Still it’s not like I’ve done nothing. Here’s a screenshot of the model I’m currently working on:

Here are some models awaiting texturing and rendering:

And the last render I did (yes, I succumbed to the pressure of the season):

While authoring this post, I managed to complete and render a Rubik’s cube.

Now I have to go. A troublesome person has shown up and interrupted my enjoyment of Blender 2.49 (no, I haven’t moved to 2.5 yet, but it’s on the list of things to do. I’m not going to throw out 2.49 until BMesh is completed, since the last time I tried to create a Rubik’s cube in 2.5, the render showed there were lots of faces with inward-pointing normals). Laterz

Edit

Back home now. Playing with Blender and Yafaray. Set up a scene for the Rubik’s cube with no materials in Yafaray, and this is my render:

Almost 8 minutes for a 800x600 render. And I haven’t even started with LuxRender yet. The good thing is: I have a copy of SmallLuxGPU, and I’ve seen the difference in rendering power (I need a GPU farm now!) of a GPU as compared to a CPU.

Anyhow, here’s a render with materials set (Yafaray):

If you don’t look at it too hard, you might not notice the major flaws I did: noise visible in the primary shadow (eliminating that requires me to increase the number of samples, and with that the render time — sigh), and the black material just looks weird away from the top of the cube (my guess is it’s too glossy, but I’m going to leave it that way anyway )

The Rubik’s cube .blend is here in case you want to play with it. Going to play, eat, take a shower, sleep.

23-12-2010

2010-12-23T09:36:00.001+01:00

Guess I’m back to dating my posts. Today’s post starts on a sad note. Yesterday I read about the passing on of Mr Sam Mbende, a former employee of Ecobank Transanational Inc, in The Punch newspaper. I met him in a meeting, and he came across a a very reasonable person. My boss has few good words for Nigerians in business as a generality; he contrasted Mr Mbende with the run-of-the-mill Nigerian in the corporate world. We still quote something he mentioned till today in the office: “the dynamics of the enterprise”.

I’m made to understand that his death might have been avoided if he got access to medical assistance on time. Which brings me to ask one question among others: with Lagos (in particular) as crowded and as traffic-jam-prone as it is, how can ambulances get to — or from — accident scenes in time to save victims? Every time I’m in major traffic, I wonder, “what if there’s an ambulance trying to save someone stuck in this?”. Unfortunately, Nigerians have largely decided to ignore sirens, mostly because of abuse by uniformed personnel (the police and military in particular), and ambulance drivers generally have no weapons to threaten anyone. Add the fact that I doubt that any emergency service has any choppers or VTOL aircraft, and you might see my point here. Maybe we should reintroduce the old law allowing only vehicles with license plates to move on the roads on particular days, but I’m sure people will find a way to circumvent that. At any rate, it’s food for thought (someone who can pass this on to the Lagos State Governor, please do. I will assume he’s a person shopping for ways to make life better for the people).

On a lighter note, here’s a conversation I had just this morning (reproduced as accurately as I can remember it):

She: Where’s my Christmas present?

Me: What Christmas present?

She: It’s Christmas. where’s my Christmas present?

Me: You should ask someone who believes in Christmas.

She: So you’re an Eckist or a Jehovah’s Witness?

Me: Any one.

She: Blood of Jesus! No wonder we never connected!

Me: At least today you’re honest.

And there you have it. She apparently forgot that I’d lent her a book by the late Kenneth E. Hagin, Exceedingly Growing Faith, which I would most likely not have done if I were in fact either an Eckist or a Jehovah’s Witness.

I’d like to ask: who passed the memo that I was to be hounded by degrees into a romantic relationship? If the comments I’m hearing these days are anything to go by, there are quite a number of people praying for me…maybe they should stop, as it doesn’t seem to have done much good. And no, trying to hook me up with women isn’t the answer, especially asking me how I like random women passing by.

Later.

Awesome!

2010-12-14T09:30:00.003+01:00

Warning: this post contains technical information and is unsuitable for technologically-challenged people (the kind that can't find their bold and underline) :D

no, the title isn't referring to me. it's what happened yesterday/today. we're trying to roll out a product at the office, and it involves some cryptography using 3DES. We ran up against a problem where we had a 128-bit key, but the default cryptography provider supplied with Java would not accept 128-bit keys for 3DES operations. We ended up having to write a separate application in .NET to handle the operations, since .NET accepts such keys and does the needful, and moved on with development. Over the weekend, another company we intend to work with sent over a key — you guessed right — it was a 128-bit key. To be honest, the entire thing spoilt my entire day (for reasons I do not care at this point to divulge). I was a complete grouch by the end of the day, especially since I felt that none of the advice we were able to source could solve the problem. Outsourcing the concern to a .NET application again would work, but the cryptographic operation we needed to do was in the core of the application, not on the fringe, as the previous case. I was dead set (though I didn't tell anyone) against migrating that functionality to another program again.

the day finally came to an end and I moved on to a program at church. We've been having a 21-day fasting-and-prayer program, and I'd felt much like a spectator most of all the other days. Last night though, Pastor Nuel announced God wanted to solve problems, real issues. I decided my problem was real enough, and just followed the instructions he gave, including giving sacrificially in the offering, which was taken for the poor. I didn't have much on me, and I decided to give everything I had on me into that offering. I chose to believe that God would take my problem as his own, and I'd not have to bother about it. I ended up walking home from church last night (sorry, Mr A., Mr B.!), and this morning, to the bus stop where I'd catch the bus to the island.

I posted the problem on StackOverflow this morning, but nothing that really helped worked. All the information I'd obtained was useless. I decided I wasn't doing to despair like yesterday, even though the temptation was really, really strong. I've no idea when exactly, but I just decided to use the Bouncy Castle JCE provider instead of the default Sun provider, and it worked! I'm really, really, happy I decided to believe what Pastor Nuel said yesterday!

And now, back to work!

Is JobMark Nigeria a well-planned scam?

2010-11-22T12:10:00.001+01:00

Early this morning, I got an unsolicited text message from JOBMARKNG telling me the sender knew I was fresh out of the National Youth Service Corps scheme, and that they had a job waiting for me. I didn’t really pay much attention to it at the time — I merely made a mental note to check it out since it might prove to be useful to someone else who's looking for employment.

Later this morning, I got another text message from someone who claimed we’d served together in Borno state in northern Nigeria, that he couldn’t call for some reason, and asking me to call his in-law for a job. Unfortunately, while I did server in northern Nigeria, it was not in Borno state. I regret deleting the text message as quickly as I did now. At any rate, it made me take a better look at JobMark Nigeria’s site as advertised in the spam text message I got.

The organization’s site is at http://www.jobmarkng.com. Personally, I don’t really like the design, but that’s minor. What caught my attention in the (decidedly long-winded) text of the home page was this: “10% of your salary must come back to us”. That left me thinking it was not such an up-front site after all. Running down the page gave me another gem:

I also found it interesting that the site mentions the Nigerian Bureau of Labour Statistics. Searching Google turns up only the National Bureau of Statistics (in Nigeria), with a division in Employment and Labour. Methinks the NBLS does not exist. Let’s peg this to a typo, shall we?

Unfortunately, on visiting the National Bureau of Statistics website, I found it impossible to get any of the (admittedly very few) reports on employment and labour beyond the end of 2009. Where does JobMark Nigeria get its figures (September 2010) from then? Insider information?

Moving on, here’s something else I noticed:

None of the advertised job openings link to anything. You can look at the site yourself and come to your conclusion yourself. Then maybe you can tell me if it’s a scam, especially as I think people who ask you to develop communication skills should be able to properly capitalize nouns:

Laters.

Edit

A friend who commented on this post on Facebook (and served in the same local government as I did) said he got the same text about the same time I got mine. I can only conclude someone related to NYSC (not necessarily staff, it might be a former Corps member) in some way is giving out (ex-)Corps members contact information. That gives me the heebie-jeebies — when registering, we gave numbers, contact information and whatnot — what if that information was leaked to less-than-savoury characters? I like my privacy, thank you veddy much.

Update: The same friend also sent me a message about this. The relevant parts I’ll take the liberty to reproduce below:

Just be careful. 2wks ago, i got a message from someone who claims to be <removed> from Zamfara (our batch). He told me he was stranded and i should send credit to him cos the bus he boarded had a fault in the bush coming from ZM. i think i know where that idiot got my details from.our year album/book.its only u guys from ZM that call me <removed>.
Virtually everyone is in need of employment. Jobmark is simply nothing but a scam. You do not get jobs that way. Their aim is to make job seekers lazy individuals. They promise to re-edit your CV and other stuffs that do not make any sense to me.
I just discovered something. i.e not giving my actual details in any publication such as year book etc. (emphasis mine, at least not just in any old way). Although that doesn't give an assurance not receiving such messages/mails.

I can’t fit shout. Maybe I’m paranoid, but here’s a friend who isn’t a geek realizing what many people don’t realize: There’s such a thing as too much information being given out that could put you at risk (yes, I’m looking at you heavy Facebook users. For crying out loud, robbers have actually found out when to rob houses simply by checking people’s profiles and status messages on Facebook — any search engine will give you more links).

A funk

2010-11-16T22:27:00.001+01:00

Hello again. Haven’t updated this rag of mine in a while. I suppose I got too lazy to update it. I’ve been forgetting to do some important things, so if I was supposed to call or something, don’t get mad, ok? I’ve major things on my mind, & the decided lack of rest isn’t getting me anywhere, especially since I’ve amped up on sleep.

I was going to rant about just how much my life sucks, but then I realized it might be worse (remembering that my neighbours had a fire — the fact that 60000 young people in Lagos alone sat for an employment test when an anonymous source says the agency holding the test will only hire 2000 persons in each state — a claim that my boss says is improbable since the agency only has about 5000 staff nationwide now — according to him, anyway — also helped). Unfortunately, it doesn’t remove the feeling. I went out today with Mr Baby this evening, saw something, and the old feelings rushed to the surface. The feeling of not being where I think I should be was really strong. Pushed it down like I do all other such feelings, though, and went on into the store I was visiting.

For crying out loud, I can’t even write a blog post properly. Geh. Whatever. at least Mr Baby’s getting big.

In other news that probably doesn’t really concern or affect anyone, I like Zoundry Raven’s interface, but after trying it out for real, I’m sticking with Windows Live Writer.

On to different things. I’ve been playing around with ISO8583 and jPOS for some stuff at work, and a problem that has raised its head consistently is how to communicate with a HSM. So far, lacking a true-blue HSM to work with, I’ve been trying to get my code working with this simulator with not a lot of success. Even after wandering the web and the jPOS mailing list (as well as Andy Orrock’s blog), it seemed I was doomed to fail. Yesterday, I decided to stop looking for ready-made answers and devote time to the problem. After looking at the jPOS API documentation on FSDMsg, I was able to come up with some code that — while it doesn't exactly mirror Andy Orrock's code — works. Without further ado, it's reproduced for your viewing pleasure below (syntax highlighting via Highlight, as I've not yet got around to finding a code display widget that works on Blogger).

Test.java:

package testbed;
import java.io.FileNotFoundException;
import java.io.IOException;
import org.jdom.JDOMException;
import org.jpos.iso.channel.FSDChannel;
import org.jpos.iso.packager.DummyPackager;
import org.jpos.iso.FSDISOMsg;
import org.jpos.iso.ISOException;
import org.jpos.util.FSDMsg;
import org.jpos.util.Logger;
import org.jpos.util.SimpleLogListener;

public class TestBed {
  

  public static void main(String[] args) throws FileNotFoundException, IOException{
    FSDChannel channel = new FSDChannel();
    channel.setHost("127.0.0.1");
    channel.setPort(9998);
    channel.setPackager(new DummyPackager());

    Logger logger = new Logger();
    logger.addListener(new SimpleLogListener(System.out));

    channel.setLogger(logger, "regular");

    FSDMsg message = new FSDMsg("file:hsm-");
    message.set("command", "NC");

    FSDISOMsg wrapper = new FSDISOMsg(message);
    wrapper.setHeader(new byte[] {0, 0, 0, 0});

    try {
        channel.connect();
        channel.send(wrapper);
        byte [] buffer = new byte[1024];
        channel.getBytes(buffer);

        FSDMsg response = new FSDMsg("file:hsm-resp-", "ND");

        response.unpack(buffer);

        System.out.println("Firmware number is: " + response.get("firmware-number"));
    }
    catch (ISOException ex) {
        ex.printStackTrace();
        //return;
    }
    catch (IOException ex) {
        ex.printStackTrace();
        //return;
    }
    catch (JDOMException ex) {
        ex.printStackTrace();
    }
  }
}

hsm-base.xml:


<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
 <schema> 
 <field id="command" type="A" length="2" key="true" /> 
</schema>

hsm-NC.xml:


<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?> 
<schema id='NC'> 
</schema>

hsm-resp-ND.xml:

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?> 
<schema id='ND'> 
   <field id="lmk-check-value" type="A" length="16" /> 
   <field id="firmware-number" type="A" length="9" /> 
</schema>

Laters.

Update:

The code above seems to work fine…till you really look at what it does. For some reason, jPOS isn’t picking up hsm-resp-base.xml at all. Here's an updated hsm-resp-ND.xml

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<schema id='ND'>
    <!--this is the 2-byte message length header-->
    <field id="messagelength" type="A" length="2" />
    <!--this is the 4-byte header you need to prepend the actual data with,
            byte[] header = new byte [] { 0, 0, 0, 0 }; // or whatever header you decide, useful for tagging requests
            //...
            wrapper.setHeader(header);
    -->
    <field id="header" type="A" length="4" />
    <!--this is the response id. in this case, it'll always be ND-->
    <field id="command" type="A" length="2" />
    <!--this is the response code-->
    <field id="response" type="N" length="2" />
    <!--this is the LMK check value-->
    <field id="lmk-check-value" type="A" length="16" />
    <!--this is the firmware number-->
    <field id="firmware-number" type="A" length="9" />
</schema>

Tired…

2010-10-14T10:52:00.001+01:00

I feel drained. I’m trying to work, but it’s really difficult to concentrate. I’d probably fall asleep if I were to stay too long in one place.

I wish I could sleep. Sleep, and talk to someone — preferably after I woke up. How did I get here anyway?

Took a cursory but somewhat-below-the-surface view of my life, and I have to conclude that I’m not satisfied with it. And I feel powerless to change it. I just feel like giving up and lying down, telling myself I tried my best and it’s okay to give in.

Done in by the current working directory

2010-07-24T13:50:00.004+01:00

I know I've said it before, but I hate computers. No, really. I wonder why I didn't get interested in a safe, risk-free profession like alligator wrestling.

Today's rant began with a threat, in a manner of speaking. My employer has a client, and they got served a notice of unsatisfactory service by their client. They came to the office, and since my boss wasn't around, they spoke to me. An application was required, they didn't have the manpower to build it. I decided to build the application as requested by them since continued business for them implies continued business for my employer.

The problem

Yesterday, we went to deploy the application. Then all hell broke loose. I ran the application, entered the settings, no problem. We loaded a list of numbers, clicked 'Send'. Nothing happened. I then tried to reload the settings and see if we had an issue, then...boom! Exception! I don't need to tell you we returned to my office, tails between legs. I later pinned down the problem to a single scenario: As long as you didn't try to load a list file, you could view the settings dialog. Once you did, however, you would get an exception which basically said the application couldn't find the settings table.

I couldn't make heads or tails of the situation, especially since my settings database file (I used a SQLite database file to store the application settings. When, later, in Freenode's C# channel, someone asked why, I didn't really have an answer — actually, I did: an application can't write to its own configuration file, and I hate parsing XML, and I haven't learned LINQ yet. This last experience is enough to migrate me to .NET 3.0 at least). Then I noticed, by chance — as it were — that I was seeing my database file on the desktop of my test system. File size? 0 bytes. Then, it hit me: I was loading my list from the desktop. That meant that Castle ActiveRecord, which was my data access layer (overkill. Yes, I know it all too well), somehow terminated the database connection, tried reconnecting it after the list was loaded, and (obviously) failed to.

This was the connection string: Data Source=app.bin;Version=3;New=True. Readers used to ADO.NET and SQLite will know this means the database file, app.bin, can be recreated if it doesn't exist. Also, it's supposed to be in the same directory as the running executable (the current working directory). On startup, my application checked if the settings file existed or had a size of zero bytes. If so, the application would automatically create the tables needed and populate them with defaults.

The problem, understood

Sadly, sometime during the application, the connection was closed. When the list file got selected, the current working directory was changed. On trying to load the settings dialog after the list file was selected, the connection was reopened (with the new working directory) and the database file was created. However, the schema would not be recreated, so the settings table would not exist, giving rise to the exception. My mistake was assuming the ActiveRecord would keep the connection open throughout the application's run. It didn't

Attempted solutions

In my ActiveRecord classes, I tried setting the current working directory just before any class method was used. Looking back, it wouldn't have worked, since ActiveRecord would already have a working connection to the database before trying to access the table. So it would still be trying to access the wrong file
I tried setting the current working directory somewhere before trying to access my ActiveRecord classes/instances. Probably due to the fact that I was hungry and indebted to sleep, I put it in a wrong place, and it didn't work (then again, it might not have worked).
Moving the ActiveRecord configuration from the application configuration file to code (using InPlaceConfigurationSource), and using the absolute path to the database file in the connection string, instead of a relative path. This 'solution' was the worst. The application didn't even run after this (again, not on my development machine — not once did I have problems running from my development machine, whether debugging with Visual Studio or running standalone), it just gave that Error Reporting dialog thingie.

Something I did NOT try was setting the working directory immediately after loading the list file. It might have worked. After everything, I scrapped the application and am rewriting it currently. I'm using XML serialization for the settings storage.

I'd like to appreciate the SlimTune developers — SlimTune helped out a great deal. When CLR Profiler failed me, I was able to use SlimTune to find out where my application was eating up some processor time on startup.

Water under the bridge

2010-07-13T08:07:00.005+01:00

quite a bit has happened in my life since i last updated this rag. no time to talk about the whole of it, though. i simply want to resume blogging. even if i blog nonsense.

talking about nonsense, isn't GMail the coolest? though i'm concerned that it's reading my email...

God is watching...

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Staff or slave?

And a little gem i picked up wandering about and not minding my business in the office:

Dear Employer.
I work in your organization and you dictate:

The time I get out of bed
The time I get to work
The kind of clothes I put on
The environment in which I work
The time I should go for lunch
My spending power vis-à-vis my lifestyle
When I should go on vacation
The number of hours I spend with my family
The days I can visits my parents
The time I can spend with my friends
The kind of haircut and beards I must put on
The kind of seminars and trainings I am allowed to partake in
When I am entitled to "improve my lifestyle" by increasing my income
When I should think and what my dominant thoughts should be
My geographical location and where I should reside
The time I ought to be reasonable enough to jump in bed to sleep
And gosh! When I should even sleep with my girlfriend!

Anyway, I thank you for:

A guaranteed monthly pay check to fend for my children, parents and siblings
Guaranteed medicals for my family
Opportunity to visit places I never thought I could visit on my own
Putting me off the street and not being labeled as unemployed
The prestige I have earned in my neighborhood
The opportunity to meet people (colleague and superior) I ordinarily might not have met so easily on my own (my contacts)
The insight to learn how a big organization like yours is being run
The opportunity to build a capital base to start my own business
The opportunity to study human behavior to enable me manage my future employees
curbing my excesses especially my “boozing habit” but for the long hours I spent at work, I would have become an alcoholic
The knowledge imparted in me when you send me on trainings
The freebies that could have eroded my income; phone calls, internet access e.t.c
The beautiful lady that sits close to me that I look forward to seeing everyday at work and who might eventually become my wife

At this point, I am confused; should I THANK YOU or CURSE YOU?

Food for thought. Anyway, to ba ka e l'ara to, wa'a wa nkan she si. Laters

13-06-2010

2010-06-13T22:22:00.002+01:00

first, kudos to the WordPress developers, as well as designers and developers who work on plugins and themes for it. I recently migrated the Berachah Foundation website from my custom code to WordPress, and I must say I'm greatly pleased with the results. I slapped on the WordPress Mobile Pack, as well as the Carrington Mobile theme, and I got a nice mobile version of the site (even though the WordPress Mobile Pack comes with its own themes), almost without doing anything. As an aside, browser detection worked perfectly with the S60v5 phone browser I tested, as well as Opera Mini. Bolt wasn't detected as a mobile browser, so I got the full desktop version rendered :(. Anyhow, the really good news is that I can get some sleep now if I make up my mind to.

CPanel, PHP, webhosting and other sundry headaches

2010-06-09T00:16:00.002+01:00

I should blog more often (among many other things I should do more often). At least, then I'd probably remember the naming convention I use for my posts, since I like to name them by date. Ah well.

A couple years back, I created a custom CMS in PHP for a client. A friend helped with the web hosting and domain name, and after bungling it for a couple months, the site was rolled out. It was my single greatest achievement at the time, as the site used templates, and (theoretically) could have several templates, and the user (should have been) able to switch look and feels (of course, it was delivered late and lacking in features).

This year, due to some things, I tried out WordPress and wanted to switch the site to it after liking it. Reality soon set in. For some reason, I couldn't access the site's CPanel, so I (thought I) couldn't upload WordPress. My connection isn't the most stable in the world, and after trying to upload it via FTP and failing a couple of times, I asked the friend who helped with the hosting to help with the CPanel issues.

My friend is a busy person, and when he got round to it, he had the same issue, and contacted the provider. He told me he'd gotten round to getting the issue fixed, but on my next attempt to use the CPanel, the same thing came around. I contacted him, but decided to try to get the WordPress working myself. Uploading via HTTP then unpacking the archive didn't work either.

Today, I got an idea: Since the webhost has internet, I could download WordPress remotely and unpack it on the server. I got a solution for downloading the archive and created for unpacking it, but I kept getting errors. When I downloaded Unzipper, I also got problems unpacking. So I cooked up my own script for the remote download. Once I confirmed that fopen wrappers were built on the webhost, it became a simple issue of opening the WordPress download with one file pointer, and copying it to a local archive in 8kB chunks. Unzipper helped greatly with unpacking WordPress (zip archive), and I uploaded a wp-config.php file, and now WordPress' installed! Owing to the instability of my connection, uploading themes has been a challenge, but WordPress' ability to download themes for itself has come in handy. I'll start migrating the site to WordPress and soon move the whole to WordPress. And yes, another attempt to upload a theme to the site just failed. Later.

Rugged chronicles

2010-06-06T00:38:00.005+01:00

To any reader of this blog who doesn't know, NCCF Zamfara goes for Rural Rugged evangelism twice a year (Rural Rugged is said to be the 'point' of NCCF, by the way). Rural Rugged involves Corps members going to rural areas for humanitarian & evangelistic reasons (in ZM's case, the strong anti-Christian sentiment prevalent makes it basically humanitarian). None of this is really particularly important, except as a backdrop of sorts to the rest of my story.

So, I'm in Morai (pronounce Mo-ray), a village around Talata Mafara/Anka and fighting sleep desperately. I should be on my security detail patrolling, but it was dark and lonely while the Praise Night is going on; thoughts have been entering my head, forcing me to flee to Security 'HQ' where I'm literally in the light. And wouldn't you know it, it also happened to be in the zone where she serves ('she' not being the person many minds are running off to assume 'she' is).

We'll be leaving later today (it's now a few past 1:00am), and while I'm not quite sure why I came in the first place, I've learnt a little about life, and about love.

On the arrival night, I found myself thrust into Security detail (again!), which ended up with me manning a post meant for three people all on my own. I was supposed to light a fire with wood from Welfare. Fuel & matches were provided — all I needed was to get a blaze going. It was harder than I thought. I'm a born and bred city boy. It was my first wood fire, and I couldn't locate any paper. Twice I doused the wood with fuel and lit it, only to burn up just the fuel. I started looking around for some alternative fuel, and found a slipper lying around. I poured fuel on all again and lit it. This third time, I got a good blaze going in a matter of minutes.

I got thinking about it, and realized that any romantic relationship is a lot like a wood fire. The fuel is like the initial attraction — it's great, but tends to burn out quickly and leave you cold. The wood's the long-term substance or fuel for the relationship — what you'll be living on over 5, 10 years. It's relatively slow to burn, but is the meat & potatoes of your relationship in the long term. Maybe you can call this 'love', even though I personally feel the word's been bastardized. Much like the fuel, attraction gets a relationship going, but can't keep it going. It's often over too quickly. My battery power's going down, so let me summarize quickly: every relationship has both short-term and long-term elements. Utilize both correctly to keep your relationship fresh and exciting. And just like my wood fire needed me stoking it from time to time with fresh, quick-burning fuel like dry grass, as well as push the unburnt wood closer to the blaze, so I wasn't stuck with glowing embers that provided lots of warmth but little light, you need to renew the love in your relationship with short-term and long-term shows of attraction and love.

I learnt some more things, but that's for another day. Later.

2010-06-01

2010-06-01T03:11:00.003+01:00

finally the chosen month is here! yay! today started out kinda lousy. my roommate (uncharacteristically) took a phone call in the room, and kept me awake, even though i asked him to take said call outside (his voice is loud, you see). at first i was pissed off, and was going to tell him off later today, but since due to it i remembered something i needed to do (2nd quarter — important but not urgent) i'm plenty mollified now.

yesterday morning i made the decision not to ask her out, and sent her a text telling her i wasn't, and why. then i tried calling her to talk it over. a couple times. her phone was busy. then she called just before XtraCool ended. i hope i know what i'm doing, because she's not your run-in-the-mill kind of woman. she's (to use a cliched phrase) something special, quite possibly one in a million. she's the kind of lady you're surprised to see single (guys have learned to download sense into their skulls these days, even if the skulls started out empty dust receptacles — Biyi, you know now). so for the time being, i'm keeping up my (self-given) moniker as the Babeless Wonder. Laugh, darn it!

On a more serious note, i wonder why one of my roommates goes on making/taking his XtraCool calls with speakerphone active and in the room. He's the same one whose phone rings on maximum volume and sleeps through all of it. i've procured a plank for his head the next time he keeps the rest of us awake instead of putting off his phone...as i read from a retweet: If your relationship is so damn complicated that you have to identify it as such on your Facebook, get the hell off Facebook and go fix it. God bless us, every one!

2010-05-25

2010-05-25T04:07:00.003+01:00

Blehhhh. Or so I feel. Anyhows, today's handover, so I pass the baton to someone else. And finally be free of the 'no vibration' clause in NCCF. I can finally ask that lovely, lovely lady out! Yay? Meh. Just called her. Dunno why the words stuck. Like there was a wall. And I didn't want to climb it.

I've no idea what's up with MTN mobile internet packages. Seem to have gone straight to hell. Odd when you consider that this is after they kicked the cheats off. Then again, maybe not.

Been reading Rapid GUI Programming with Python and Qt. Great book, learning (slowly) stuff I never knew. And I haven't even got to the PyQt part.

2010-05-22

2010-05-22T03:18:00.003+01:00

I have internet again. And for a wonder, electricity. Even though I had to go to a friend's place to have power. Meh.

I remember A saying something about me being always in control. What a joke. Me? Control? I suppose I hide it relatively well, but I'm just about as warm-blooded as he is. Maybe even more so. Which is why, despite the jibes, I stay away from the opposite sex as far as possible. No thanks. Not here in a strange land, where I have few friends and fewer people to question me. It would be all too easy to give in to my body's urges and find someone willing to hop in the sack with me. So I strive to stay where God's grace can still reach me, and sometimes scream out loud like yesterday when the urges get really loud. It doesn't always work though. Like the time I gave in some years back. Sometimes I wonder if this drive for sex is normal, and we're all just hiding it. Or that in my case I'm a freak of some sort. Meh again. Doesn't really matter. As long as I can get God's grace to stay free of sexual sin, I'm happy. Once bitten, run when you see teeth is my new policy. Like I mentioned before, it's harder to keep sometimes.

Dear Nokia, I officially think your software sucks, now. I also think Microsoft's sucks too, but that's a somewhat different matter. Apparently, theirs has to suck, for some unknown reason(s). Or can someone please explain why I cannot download Nokia Ovi Suite Update, required to update my phone's firmware to the latest? It gets to 17MB then goes crazy and keeps downloading. I've googled for answers, but I don't have Eset NOD32 antivirus, and disabling my antivirus doesn't work. I tried getting a workaround my sharing my internet connection through my wireless card to my phone, but apparently couldn't share it. Sorry, Nokia. I guess my dreams of kinetic scrolling (whatever that is) will remain just those — dreams until I find a way to either update Ovi Suite or get an unsecured wireless network to run the OTA firmware update. As far as I'm concerned, the problem isn't solved. Please get a fix, or make it easier for people to get the update. Thanks.

The trailer for the third Blender movie is out, and looking good. Here's a shout-out to the Simtel team, and the Blender 2.5 devs!

Dear MTN, if I lose my sleep to browse overnight on your network, or use valuable airtime to access the internet on my phone, it gets annoying to read 'No suitable nodes are available to serve your request'. Very. Please work on it. I'm a paying customer, okay? Thanks.

21-04-2010

2010-04-21T02:07:00.003+01:00

Maybe I should give up blogging. Like, I don't update that often anyway, so maybe I should. Whatever, dude.

Finally got my biodata entry app for the biodata forms completed. The hard part was getting to use PyQt — I'd never used it before then. The installer for Windows comes with Designer, but I used Qt Creator to create the UI. First time ever using it this year, too. Or ever, come to think of it. M seemed interested in the app at first, but got hijacked by the anime bug. The (unofficial) Tsafe anime club has currently waded through both Code Geass and History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi, among other, more spotty but equally dubious 'achievements'.

I've recently made a number of bad decisions in a bid to enjoy life some more. Inclusive among them was installing and using apps like Opera Mobile and Fring. They've eaten deep into my airtime. I don't get how Opera Mini manages data so well, and Opera Mobile forgets the second part of its name. Bolt wins by default now, since the beta supports tabs and I can tweet, blog or do anything else with it without paying through my nose for it.

Sleep's pressing in hard...I've got to tidy this up. It's hot here. It's so hot now I'm lying under the not-currently-visible stars. The water in the room is quite warm - not what you'd want to come back to after baking ubder the sun.

I'm now a WordPress fan. After trying to develop a website for the nth time (unsucessfully, even with a working PHP framework; Symfony 1.4.1 generated invalid code at some point following the 'Jobeet' tutorial), I tried out WordPress locally. It's been a joy to use. I guess I'd better polish those rusty web design skills, because my major work for this long overdue project will be to create suitable themes. Well, I'd better move my mat before the ants changed their mind and take me to see their queen. Night.

02-04-2010

2010-04-02T04:32:00.000+01:00

I must say it's nice to be editing my blog again. March was — in many respects — a tough month for me. Orientation camp came around again, and since my local government hosts, I was occupied. Other things followed, but the main stem was related to the camp.

In the last month, I completed Brian Sanderson's Warbreaker, book one of The Morcyth Saga, & the first two books of David Eddings' The Elenium. I played with Python & MongoDb, fooled around with PyS60, had my internet subscription run out, attended NCCF orientation camp meetings … so why do I have this feeling of dissatisfaction?

Well, here's to Jesus, and us all: Happy Easter!

06-03-2010

2010-03-06T10:51:00.002+01:00

Ah, my blog. Been a while since I updated it. I'd like to blame my funky internet, but I could have updated if I really wanted to. I just was lazy. Anyhow, it doesn't mean anyone really missed me. Unusually, today I'll be updating my blog in the morning, & not at (or close to) the end of the day as I usually do. A whole lot of stuff happened this morning. Or so I'd like to think.

After the normal early morning stuff, I went to Gusau, stopping over at the NCCF family house to pick up something. There are dogs in the family house. Now I don't like dogs, not since I got a very bad scare when I was around eight years old from my friend's dog. The dogs normally aren't aggressive, but I got a huge shock when all four began barking and came after me; help from the occupants was slow in coming, but not late as I escaped from the house with an intact hide. Something tells me that I will have to take a rain check on invitations to come to the family house until passing out...

For some reason, even though the advertised price of MTN's 3G modem is NGN 8500.00, it seems the price here in Zamfara is NGN 10000.00, and I heard it's the "official" price. I'd appreciate an explanation, since I was hoping to get it at the advertised price (an official MTN partner in Gusau sells them at the "official" price — I'd heard that I could get them for the advertised price, but now that hope has been dashed.

I stumbled across a tweet about Jeff Atwood's article on programmers who can't program, apparently. Also, I stumbled upon another tweet that linked to an article praising sketching as part of the design process. It was a good read, as I do for both applications and designs the same thing — jump right in, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that I have very few completed apps or designs.

Anyhow, hunger's eating me up, so I'll be dropping off here. Later!

24-03-2010

2010-02-24T23:00:00.008+01:00

I'm actually blogging from my computer again. Yes, I went and re-subscribed for one month more of Glo's high-speed internet package. Except, of course, it's not even speedy, not to talk of high-speed. I'm still averaging 1kB/s with it. And Glo apparently forgot they had an open ticket with my complaint of ultra low-speed internet, even though I complained over a month ago.

Today has been a rather depressing day. Must have something to do with the fact that I didn't spend time praying before I launched into the day. My external harddisk has been acting up, almost all my students failed their Social Studies tests (I'd say less than 2% 'passed', if the low-expectation borderline I've been instructed to use means 'pass'), I wasted a great deal of the day attending to nonessentials, and finally have to stop working with Symfony, unless someone can tell me what's wrong with my setup. I'm using XAMPP 1.73, and I got Symfony 1.4.1 and have been working through the Jobeet tutorial. However, when I try to generate the SQL using symfony doctrine:build --sql command, I realized that the previous command (symfony doctrine:build --model) had generated invalid PHP code on my machine, so the subsequent command failed. Can't seem to find anyone with this same problem, and since my link is too slow to fix the image I tried to upload to show the invalid generated code, I'll be signing off here so I can get my butt kicked in either Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow or Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia. I had to give up the former because the fifth seal has proven impossible to do with a mouse (yes, I'm using an emulator. No, I don't own a Nintendo DS, nor am I proud of the fact that I'm playing using illegal ROM images) so far, and I'm currently not in the mood for pain (Death whipped my butt the last time I took him on in DoS, and I don't think I want to repeat that pain just yet). Anyhow, time's a-wasting. good night!

Draw a goat

2010-02-22T15:45:00.008+01:00

The assignment was the title of this post. The class was Primary 3. The results were...well, see for yourself:

St. Val's day blues

2010-02-14T08:36:00.002+01:00

Hello again. Haven't updated this rag here in a while — about a little over two weeks, in fact. Part of the reasons include plain laziness, dissatisfaction with the way I enter text on my phone (even though I choose it myself), occupation with other issues, & dissatisfaction with my mobile blogging experience, among others.

Plus, it's St. Valentine's day. Merely the thought alone is sufficient to give me the blues. I just got back my copy of Chip Ingram's Love, Sex & Lasting Relationships, was browsing through it last night for the first time & read the introduction.

Chip asks in the introduction what caught your eye about the book. Was it the cover photo of a couple rubbing noses together on a windswept beach? Do you want to trade places with one of them? And I realized that, yes, I do (I think whoever the male model for the cover photo is, he's a lucky bugger. She's hawt).

Quite on the contrary, my experience has been anything but <insert appropriate adjective here>. Except for a short, very misguided & exceptionally disastrous foray into the murky waters of a wrong relationship with someone else's girlfriend, I've basically been on my own. As a couple of friends & I would quip, I've been playing the game, but no touchdown. Even the amorphous 'relationship' I was venturing into seems ill-fated now (apparently I have been fishing in someone else's pond; the trouble with that is that the fish are almost certainly copyrighted & you never know if the waters are shark-infested. Let those who understand hold their peace, & those who don't seek enlightenment. 'nuff said).

So it's St. Val's day & I'm without a date, generally dissatisfied with the women around me & probably too cynical to like any of them romantically without being threatened, drugged, hypnotized and drunk all at the same time (or God showed up physically & spoke in a baritone voice. Don't get me wrong — lots of nice ladies here, but I'm looking for a certain, mostly indescribable more; the people who have it are thin on the ground & are largely unavailable. And can some tell me why it has to be a baritone voice? I'm sure the same God who gave Mel Blanc lots of voices can do many, many voices too).

Anyhow, I'm drifting to the conclusion that I'm barking up the wrong tree (don't I always) & have been spinning wheels for as long as I can remember (that's a nice way of saying being very active, but completely ineffective. It goes nowhere. The imagery is one of a rodent in a cage with a wheel in it. It may run & spin the wheel, but won't get anywhere. Much like a treadmill. Apologies to my readers who already know all this stuff. I just want to make sure we're all on the same page here). I've dabbled into development, design, 3D & even digital music production (I really suck at this last one, yet for some reason I don't want to give it up. Probably emotional, since I have over 8GB of production-related software on my harddisk, mostly VST plugins. Can someone please come and download sense into my skull? I've even begun dabbling into Flex — last night — & if left alone long enough, Air). For all my dabbling, I've nothing to show. All this has to stop. Why do I get so easily distracted? Why don't I have fewer things I'm good at? Why don't I have results consistent with my ability? Argh!

Anyhow, rant over (for now). Dishes need to be done, & I've texts to send, plans to make, and so on. Later. Enjoy Val's day either single or with someone. You're someone of value, so treat yourself that way.

Geh!

2010-01-23T08:34:00.001+01:00

I hate computers. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. I've been trying to install Photoshop CS4 trial for a couple of days. No dice. Since my internet connection peaks about 1KB/s, it's troublesome even getting information on the issue. And I'm not the only one. People all over the world have had issues installing Adobe's CS3 and CS4 products. I never had such problems on Windows XP, but I've since moved to Windows Vista. As Jester says in Devil May Cry 3, "Welcome to Hell!"

I was working on something last night, and needed to fire up Red Gate's Reflector, and it gave me some grief about updating. Problem is, as I mentioned above, my "high speed internet" package has been downgraded (possibly due to the environment I'm in), and so downloading the 1.05MB update took over 15 minutes (a great deal better than the time I was online for one hour to download the same software, I must admit). And I'm trying to build Castle ActiveRecord, it apparently has different ideas. I can't remember how I built it the last time I used it, and my link is too slow to be trying to get the latest trunk over Subversion (I have been trying to complete the download of Windows Powershell 2.0 for Vista for over a week now. I need Powershell to install SQL Server 2008 Express, but I'm not sure if version 2.0 will work. I'd have downloaded version 1.0, but thanks to Windows Genuine Advantage not working with my slow link, I've been forced to try to get Powershell 2.0, which weighs in at 32MB instead of 1.0's much lighter 5MB, but doesn't bother with WGA). All I'm trying to do right now is get info on how to redirect both standard output and standard error to the same file, so I can diagnose what to do about Castle not building, but Firefox can't find www.google.com.ng. I couldn't even publish this this first time I tried to. I'd have had an easier time just fooling around. It was when I started trying to get work done that all this nonsense started cropping up. I hate computers.

Update: I finally got SQL Server 2008 Express setup going, after a (mostly) sleepless night. I think this is going to be the last time I use w.bloggar. I can't seem to enter a post title. Now the power's off, so I hope this setup hurries itself up without draining the battery.

08-01-2010

2010-01-09T09:23:00.001+01:00

And a brief vista into my world: Blender 2.5 is sexy, even in alpha. Was in a four-hour-long meeting & developed a horrible headache that lasted the rest of the day; as usual, Infotech CDS club training was again relatively empty. The scheduled election didn't hold, meaning something troublesome may show up very soon. I wish some people would think less highly of me, in the sense that their expectations of me would be less, therefore less troublesome.

I think the world is standing on its head, or at least public opinion is. One person decides to bomb a plane from Nigeria (who in all probability hasn't even been in tne country in years), & suddenly we're a "terrorist state"? Give me a break. I don't really expect better anyway, I guess I'm just blowing off steam. In a more humorous light, a dead cat was removed from the ceiling of Party House. The awful stench of it! M & I had to eat out. The entire male section of PH cleared out for a while. Well, I's off.

07-01-2010

2010-01-07T00:42:00.000+01:00

Happy new year, reader, whomever you may be, frequent reader or no. May this year be for you a great one.

I hate everything. I'm in that kind of mood today. It's 12:41am here & I'm sleep deprived. I'm using a phone to blog because I realized MTN GPRS is faster than the Glo HSDPA modem I'm using to update my antivirus (avg spd 1.1kB/s).

My bank gave me an interest of NGN 1.51 & actually bothered sending me a text (for which I'll be charged NGN 10.00) to inform me.

I'm back in Tsafe, where the Glo hi-speed internet has magically become low-speed & is too slow & unreliable even to update my antivirus. P(w)HCN has struck, so I'm running the modem off the laptop battery. One roommate is chatting on MTN XtraCool, one's snoring, & I'm wondering how I've been reduced to downloading less than 20MB in 4+ hours online.

All this negativity's getting to me. I'm going to mention things I'm grateful for.

Family, friends, church: my sanity would have frittered away long ago if not for them. Maybe even my life itself.
Instead of tapping keys on a keypad to blog, I'm tapping a stylus to a screen (let the ignorant remain so). I'm also very excited about what God's about to do in a certain friend's life (oga, we dey reach that top together).
God was über-faithful in 2009; & last I checked He hadn't died, so 2010's shaping up to be a great year.
My roommate got back from home to make his clearance yesterday.
One of my kids gave me some weird stuff to eat on Monday, followed me around & insisted (in the persistent, cute, but annoying way children do) I ate it myself. I'm still alive, & I think everything still works, so that's a good thing.
I'm tired enough to sleep. The antivirus actually finished updating, leaving the battery tanked up enough to do some stuff with Joomla, Python, Python for Symbian Series 60, anime or whatever.

There's a lot more, but I'm gonna grab me some shuteye. What've you got to be grateful for?

How do you greet someone around this time again?

2009-12-24T07:43:00.002+01:00

compliments of the chef...wait, that's not right...condiments of the seasoning...still rings...hollow...curry of the thyme...are we there yet?...congratulations on your chickening...na long thing be this o! chei! see my life!...eat plantain on the mountain...look, this thing can't kill me. just understand the sentiment! and have a merry christmas and a happy new year in advance was that it?.

I feel like an idiot

2009-12-20T05:25:00.000+01:00

this post title does not imply in any way that I am one. I just feel like one. I woke up not long ago to darkness around me. Not suprising. The lights were turned off last night. What was suprising was that the inverter was showing a drained battery and had tripped off. It wasn't the first time ever, but it was a first for me in a long time, since it was my first night at home in roughly three months. I then remembered what someone (a former serving colleague) said about my laptop: it draws more power than a tv.

I've been trained as an electronic/electrical engineer (as far as my alma mater is concerned, anyway), and have taken great pride in showing my understanding of not just my (academic) field of study but other fields of study. Yet I dismissed Femi's calculation (I even gave him the final answer) on the power rating of my laptop adapter, and the implied consequences, maybe because he was not a B.Sc holder but a HND graduate, or maybe because he studied mechanical engineering.

My pride and arrogance had blinded me to appreciating the fact that he was certainly the highest earning corps member in my local government, maybe even in the whole state. It can even be argued that he'd be a candidate for the same nationally. Not on his federal or state allocation, but via his skill. In electrical work. My field of study. And so I despised and forgot his results and what they implied, until this morning when I realized for myself my laptop was the single biggest culprit in the inverter's decline.

It's fitting that I heard a message last night, and the speaker talked about someone like me, reading from Ecclesiastes 10:15: A wise and poor child is better than an old king who will no longer be admonished (paraphrased)

As Timbaland said, "The damage is done". But I hope I've learned one vital and valuable lesson: I don't know everything, and I don't need to become arrogant. I'd never been faced with the results of my arrogance like this, but what else might I be suffering from — or even causing others because of arrogance and the blindness it brings?

You still don't get to call me an idiot

15-12-09

2009-12-15T22:25:00.000+01:00

Found a rat in my room this morning. Called D over after trapping it. When it ran into a folded mattress, I took great pleasure in pounding said mattress, then stepping on the crippled rat (ending its existence) after it fled its erstwhile hiding place. I always suspected I had bloodlust. Now I have proof. Since I don't take alcohol, I guess I'll have to blame it on Bleach. And Hellsing. And all the anime.

Only today realized that I & I are the only Batch B corpers left in Party House, maybe even in Tsafe. Odd I didn't notice that as at Sunday, I was the only one of my batch in PH.

I'd appreciate specific info on Glo's mobile internet service (speed, ease & method of recharge/top-up, available plans with costing, etc).

I realized with a new clarity today that it's a wee bit uncomfortable taking a leak when you understand you probably can be seen about 200 meters out doing so. From the wrong side. In broad daylight. Grow, grass, grow!

S is breeding two cute white rabbits in PH, male & female. My first time seeing any in real life. Anyone interested in buying after they breed contact me (I'm interested. I'm only wondering if I can keep up the commitment needed raising a pet).

Apparently, while I'm still here, it's ok not to answer calls I don't want to pick up, then later claim I was charging my phone. Or not. On the phone issue, I should blog later about my recent experiences with Java mobile browsers. when I get 'real' internet. For now, staying awake to complete this post is an issue. So I'll go to sleep. Night

13-12-09

2009-12-14T11:33:00.003+01:00

Edit: between the rats & not feeling well, I ended up sending the
email for this post to the wrong address. Oh, joy. Plus, I found a couple of issues with emailing to post on this blog. And this blind spot on my phone screen has been hiding stuff from me. It pours. Heavily.

I feel horrible, so bad I had issues recalling today's date for this
post. And worst part is I'm awake because of darned *rats*. I'm the
only one left in my room, and it seems they've recently discovered
Party House. Considering PH's state of disrepair, it's no wonder the
infernal creatures can get in. Why do I get to battle rats & there's a
directive from NYSC at the federal level that corps members shouldn't
travel (just heard a rat wandering about on the ceiling. Why are the
blasted creatures mostly nocturnal)? As you can probably tell, I
*really* hate rats.
I've decided that travelling 30 mins or more to access the internet
for (arguably) serious stuff is unacceptable (you might also be able
to tell that I also don't like going to Gusau). So I decided I need
internet access here in Tsafe (by this time, I'm wondering why Nokia's
T9 prediction brings up 'babes' just before 'access' on my phone. Are
even they trying to say something?), and I can choose between the
major GSM providers that also supply internet. Question is, what will
pay me? Already hearing woes about Etisalat's billing & recharge
system. A definite minus, since power is an issue in Tsafe.
I've no idea how I'm going to manage till after CD on Thursday to get
out of town. There's been no power for several days, and I'd estimate
there are less than 50 corpers left in Tsafe, less than 15 of which
are left in Party House. Yay. I'd better crawl under my curtain & go
to sleep.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Updates!

2009-12-12T07:22:00.001+01:00

Well...haven't done this since the NCCF national conference in Jos. Hope I still remember how.

Jos was cold, mind-numbingly, excruciatingly COLD. And unlike Tsafe here, it's a moist cold, not a dry one. Every night the bedding felt like someone just poured ice-cold water all over. Turning the mattress over didn't really help after about 3 minutes. I usually sleep with just a tee in Tsafe (and maybe something to cover myself with). In Jos, I wouldn't dare the same. At least once I wore a shirt, my NYSC 'khaki' top, and my windbreaker on top to boot as sleepwear. Also only parted with my headwarmer when I realized my brother wasn't using any.

It was great seeing D at the conference. We hadn't since the wedding, and he'd been busy with work & studies. We took time to look for trouble together & took a trip to Jos itself (the campground isn't in Jos per se, but it's relatively close).

D introduced me to some of his fellow corps members (mostly ladies...oga, please explain). I'm wondering why my younger brother's taking after a slacker like me. It requires some serious thought & possibly prayer. One of the ladies I met through him is a lovely young lady named Udeme — I'm forced to remember all the times we just to joke, 'my husband Udeme is an irresponsible idiot' from the Guinness ad. Can't look at the name the same way anymore.

Burned a great deal of my phone credit at camp looking for and trying out file managers for my S40 phone. Eventually settled on BlueFTP, but should try out a couple more soon. Got appointed to a zonal post in fellowship the weekend after Jos. Who donates people all these bad ideas, anyway?

By the way, I'm doing this from a friend's phone using a 'custom' build of Opera Mini. I want to appeal to the mobile service providers in Nigeria to make GPRS browsing cheaper, and allow people to legally use Opera Mini. All this free browsing is lost revenue for them, & they're seriously underestimating the Nigerian (& human) appetite for freebies. Later

25-11-09

2009-11-25T19:54:00.001+01:00

This might be my last blog post for the duration of the NCCF national
conference. Got to the 'hostel' & it doesn't seem that I might be able
to charge my phone easily here.
Have been procrastinating about calling my dad. I'm not really sure I
told him about the conference, and calling him now that I'm in Jos
seems...rude. I still need to make that call though, uncomfortable as
it might be.
As many things involving group action & somewhat poor planning, it was
tiresome. I gave up my sleep only to discover it was unnecessary. We
left Tsafe for Gusau almost two hours late, and Gusau over 3 hours
later than scheduled. One good thing is that I finally got to see the
NCCF Zamfara family house. I'm glad I wasn't posted to Gusau. I might
have had to stay there & I found some of the house rules there
restrictive. Some things I'm glad about though. Yesterday when the
batch C corps members passed out of camp, a vehicle carrying some of
them to Gusau had an accident, and one of them died. This became the
choice topic of discussion - a poor choice of pre-journey conversation
topics. The state 'Uncle' took charge & talked about not letting fear
in.
The trip to Jos took about 7 hours including stoppage time. There's a
part of the road where we got covered in dust - first white then
red-brown. I've no desire to see what my head looks like now, since my
jacket looked (at last check) really old. An issue with the bedding is
its on the ground, and it feels cold & damp. I'm grateful to God I'm
here in one piece. I hope to learn just why I'm here at this time.
I'll check in later if I can.

--
Sent from my mobile device

19-11-09

2009-11-20T09:44:00.001+01:00

Today's been one of those days. First, woke up to a really cold
morning. I had the distinct feeling that someone left the deep freezer
in heaven open & shoved us in. Kept trying to put off my shower this
morning, but ended up doing so since I needed to get the financial
report to be presented at today's CD meeting printed & copied.
Got to the place I usually print, but it was locked. After waiting for
over 30 minutes, went looking elsewhere. Found a place, but their
generator didn't start. Went back to the first place, and met the
acting CLO there & the owner trying to start the generator. By that
time, my patience had already gone (as Rudyard Kipling wrote) where
dead crabs go, since it implied I wouldn't make it back to Party House
in time to wash dishes, prepare & have breakfast. If I only knew.
When I got back to Party House, I just dropped off the pasta I bought
earlier & went to bother A, who was playing Scrabble at the time.
While I'm on the subject, can someone please explain this 'live S'
stuff I keep hearing? M & I told A to play 'metes', and S said because
the dictionary didn't have 'metes' in the definition for 'mete', it
shouldn't have been allowed. In my opinion, since 'mete' is a
transitive verb, how would one use it for the third person in present
tense? Let someone tell me that.
CD today was (expectedly) very long & tiresome, since the financial
report of the batch B & C welcome & send-forth programmes was
presented, and there was a deficit. Plus, we got into a big to-do over
the standing orders of the house. Personally, I don't get how
graduates of institutions of higher learning in Nigeria don't know
what a budget is, or what it represents.
At long last, the ordeal that passed for a CD meeting came to an end
after almost 4 hours. After finally cleaning up, I prepared lunch,
ate, and debated whether or not to go to Gusau. I finally decided to
go, chiefly because Reflector was giving me grief, and I have never
gotten to browse in the only 'cybercafe' we have in Tsafe. Big
mistake. Talk about download speeds of less than 1kB/s. Reflector is
less than 1.5MB, but it took almost the whole hour to download.
Ah well. All's well that ends in the well

--
Sent from my mobile device

17-11-09

2009-11-17T23:51:00.001+01:00

It's gotten cold again. And dusty. Very dusty. I need to remember to
get one of those surgical masks or I'll soon be containing enough dust
to build my own house.
It's been fun, but I fear that I've been had. I was sold snake oil. Or
why else would I feel so empty & act so ineffectively? I'm looking for
a way out. Not particularly from this location in a geographical
sense, but a ladder or rope out of this rut. I still look good on the
outside, but it's a matter of time before people find out that the
legs of the corpse I buried are sticking out, as a certain friend
would say.
Not sure what exactly I'm afraid of. If it's fear of being labelled
'weird', I thought I'd given up ever being thought 'normal'. Maybe
it's men's approval I seek so much as to risk the opposite from God.
Or pleasure. Whatever it is, I can no longer suppress the 'ache' I
'feel' as it were. Bruce Wilkerson, in his book 'Secrets of the Vine',
talks about God disciplining branches that don't bear fruit. I'll
suggest you read the book yourself.
Need to go shower, but the wind's blowing. Maybe I'll skip that till
later when conditions are more favorable (tried to remember the last
time I used warm water for a shower, and drew a blank. Probably not in
the last 6 months or even longer. It's never been a habit).
I pity the C batch in camp. They - like us here in Party House - are
pretty much exposed to the air for showers. And they look generally
like a milk-and-water lot. Exceptions abound, but quite a number acted
like students still in school when I was exposed to them in Party
House. Time will reveal if they're made of sterner stuff or lack
backbone, as it does all men. Need to get up *NOW*, even though I
don't feel like it. Off to school again.
Odd that of all things to teach me about doing the right things, it
should be a game. Or maybe not. The last time I played a game, I
played levels 1 through 5, before getting a 'game over' in level 5,
with a score of 11000+. After learning *one thing* about the game, I
played from level 1 to 3, getting a game over in level 3, with a score
of 19000+. Same game. Same difficulty setting. Less time. More
results. It's going to be work working this out, but work can be very
profitable, as I learned from reading 'The Richest Man in Babylon'
last night.
Had a blast last night while there was power. Everyone left me in the
room, so I first started out with Ys: The Ark of Napishtim, then
switched to anime soundtracks & writing code. Found my copy of .NET
Reflector won't run anymore without an update. If anyone can tell me a
way to stop this, please let me know. I *need* Reflector working. It's
one of the greatest tools I know for working on .NET. I feel crippled
without a copy. I want to use ActiveRecord with LINQ (read:
LinqBridge, since it's .NET 2.0), and the lack of Reflector makes it
difficult to grok the LINQ extensions to ActiveRecord. Anyhow, it's
late now. Gotta go to sleep so I can think properly about some design
decisions I need to make. G'night

--
Sent from my mobile device

Hit the wall

2009-11-11T05:45:00.001+01:00

Woke up this morning by the alarm on my watch. First time in about a
week. Sleeping on my own does have its advantages.
Thinking about W. I should stop using my head to figure out things &
pray for direction. Apparently, I've gotten emotionally attached to
her to some level. And I'm trying to break loose before I give the
wrong impression.
I've heard when a woman loves a man romantically, she can give
anything to him, do anything for him (people always talk about when a
man is smitten - they should see when a woman is!). Being given that
awesome power is a huge responsibility - if you're willing to act like
a *real* man.
I've heard so much on what being a 'real' man is. One description I
personally like is 'taking responsibility'. For his life, for his
family, for the level of impact he has...and more. And I want to
believe most men know instinctively (for lack of a better word/phrase)
that you (are to) love your woman. You take care of her. You become
her refuge when the going gets tough. Her best friend. Her support
system. Her safety net & armor. You're to give yourself & all you are
to & for her. Your time, money, effort. Your strength of character
(unfortunately, so lacking these days). Your patience. You can't give
up & quit on her. Your commitment. Whatever you don't have that she
needs, you go out to get, because she's your garden. And your job is
to ensure she is radiant & blooming, whatever it costs you - to your
very life. This is a part of my definition of love. It truly (as I see
it, anyway) is an awesome responsibility. And this is why so many men
shy from commitment instinctively. They realize this in their bones,
if you will, and decide that they're incapable of following through.
Even if a man does make a commitment, he's either shut this out of his
mind or is really hoping to be able to follow through. At least it's
what I think.
So I'm hesitant to come out to say I love W. She's built to respond to
sweet words, attention & time - to some degree at least. If I cause
her to turn over her heart (not her blood pump or spirit) to me, then
I must be willing to do whatever it takes to love her. To tell the
truth, I'm incapable of being all that to her. I'm scared shitless of
needing to be all that to her & not measuring up. I want to do right
by this young lady. Maybe this is the real reason I'm yet to get into
a relationship. I've set apparently unrealistic goals for myself, and
am now afraid I'll fail. And something men hate greatly is failing.
It's almost unforgiveable. This is where I stand. What do you think?
Have to go get ready to run around this morning from my PPA to the
LGO's and back if need be. So I need to get to school earlier than
I've been doing. So I'll drop by later.
I'd appreciate someone mailing me price listings of GSM providers'
mobile internet offerings, including bandwidth limits, setup costs &
subscription costs. I might be needing my own internet link & want to
make an informed decision. No attachments please. It's troublesome, I
know, but maybe I'm worth it? Later. I'll just pray about the previous
matter & refuse to be in a hurry. No sense making a wrong decision
because I was hasty. I will hear from God, and I will obey. So I'm
disconnecting myself from the whole sitch. No weighted votes ;)

--
Sent from my mobile device

10-11-09

2009-11-10T22:16:00.001+01:00

I remember seeing the moon out as late as 9.00am on Saturday. Odd.
Anyway, today's been a rather unusual day. We didn't get water
yesterday, and that meant we needed to get water this morning.
Considering the earliest we could start looking for water was 7.00am,
there was a good chance of missing my first class today. A, M & I went
out with the kegs, and wanted to go to the local government tap, but
we decided to try GSS first. We found a long queue there. S said he'd
had it with his business venture, and would leave for Gusau this
morning. I was going to show my joy at getting my bed to myself again,
but his phone was moved last night, so it would not have been
appropriate.
A & I got into a discussion about whether telling people to abstain
from sexual intercourse, then saying they should use a condom if they
couldn't wait was promoting immorality or not. He was a nay, I was an
aye. He maintained that most people would rather have sex now than
wait. I said, essentially that most men rise only to the barest
minimum expected of them. If they can get away with something, they
will. But if more is demanded of them, if they are exposed to a higher
level, very few will willingly want to do less. I don't think that
trying to enforce abstinence will work, but that if we're going to
deal major blows on STI infection rates, teen pregnancy, children born
out of wedlock, and everything born out of extramarital sex, we are
going to have to raise our expectations of people somehow, and make
abstinence & faithfulness praiseworthy, 'hip' and 'in'. We did, once.
Before the Hollywood-propounded myths of free love & sex without
commitment were offered to us wholesale, and we ate them hook, line,
sinker, fisherman, rod, boat & lake.
Missed my first class, but maybe I shouldn't have bothered showing up
at all. I was keenly aware of the language barrier today. Though it
was funny when one of the class 4 girls started crying when her
classmate 'married' her off to S.
Walked home with W today. S split up early. Glad she's up & about now.
She's a lovely young lady, imho, but talking with her today, I'm more
certain she isn't my type, and glad I didn't act on impulse when I
returned from home. W, on the other hand, is more my type, but I
absolutely refuse to be pressured into a decision.
Pretty much every male human has a knight in shining armor complex.
Apparently, smart females all over the world have caught on & used (or
at least tried to use) said fact to their advantage. Case in point: a
lady asked one of my roommates to get her a torch because she wanted
to read a novel.
Had a friend come in today, we got talking & I've got more interested
in my own life & finding ways to solve problems for people at a price.
I do have this feeling that it's due to *his* prayers that we had that
conversation. Kinda pisses me off though. One of the class 4 boys was
seated on the same bench with not one, but *two* girls. Right between
both of them. First time since I got to Zm.
Should go to sleep now. Guys in the next room are arguing over the CD
clubs & I've heard my name tossed about. Probably has something to do
with the fact that I was engineered out of the Road Safety club & into
the Infotech club. The RS club C-in-C is threatening that come
Thursday, I'll be joining them. I think I'll just go to sleep. Doesn't
really matter either way. I merely don't want to be another pawn in
the giant mindless machine that is NYSC. I'd like to do something
worthwhile if possible.

--
Sent from my mobile device

08-11-09

2009-11-08T21:54:00.001+01:00

I feel depressed. I was faced with something about myself that isn't
good - a major character flaw, and that's knocked the wind out of my
sails. So forgive the melancholy tone of today's post.
Humans are basically need-driven creatures. Some people rise above
this, but the vast majority of people, by & large, fall into this box
for most of their lives. Take me, for instance. I like X, because I
need companionship & a long-term 'someone' of the opposite sex who's
'my very own' (not to mention that she looks great & is smart -
definite major pluses). But X is a smart, classy lady doing great for
herself, so she doesn't really give me the time of day (by the way,
this is a true story. Mine. From the distant past. And stop guessing),
because she doesn't need me. So we have a quandary. I, from
need-propelled wants, want to be in a relationship, but she doesn't
need me. So I need to try to sell myself to her (do I really need to
say that I botched it? I was hardly a blip on her radar: "I came to
tell you I love you, would do anything for you & want to be with you
forever" "that's nice, dear <head pat>. Please shut the door on your
way out" It didn't really happen that way, but the evoked feelings
would probably be much the same). And with that one requirement, as we
say here, she don fall my hand. One of my friends once said it seemed
to him that women liked the idea of me. I'm currently wondering if the
idea of a guy who has so far sucked at selling himself is so amusing
to them. I think it is. As an example, I met a lady during camp, and
we exchanged numbers. Apparently she lost her phone, and since then,
has given a friend her number twice, for me. Both numbers were
unavailable on the networks they would have been on (had they
existed). I don't think it's funny, but apparently someone else is
laughing.
I've finally downed my dinner of fried plantain, spaghetti, fish stew,
egusi soup & fish. No, I'm not living the life. I don't call 4+ hours
cooking & finding a cut you don't remember inflicting on your little
finger 'the life'. You might.
Well, I'm finally sleepy. So maybe when I wake up, I'll feel better. Later

--
Sent from my mobile device

06-11-09

2009-11-07T16:25:00.001+01:00

The people here are crazy. Or that's my explanation. On Sunday, saw a
basin full of live scorpions in the market. Why were there live
scorpions in the basin? And why weren't the scorpions tearing each
other apart (after copulation, female praying mantises tear off the
male's head. At least some spiders do something similar, & I'm
inclined to believe scorpions don't love each other more. Well, maybe
they do. Washed down with scorpion body fluids). And a live porcupine,
too.
Camp's been going on, with the attendant annoyances. Someone lifted my
water yesterday. And I'm sharing my bed. It's uncomfortable to say the
least. Was looking for my 'good' phone battery & had to wait till S
got up to find it (don't ask).
A & M seem determined to prove something going on between W & I,
specifically on my side. Personally, I admit I like W. She's
attractive, smart & from all the time I've spent with her, she appears
to be a woman of substance, inside & out. It's just that nothing's
going on, plus I think some lucky dude got his application approved.
So I'm just friends with her, despite what A & M think.
I've no idea how I've so far always managed to end up in the friend
zone. I've this lovely friend I'd had my eye on for a while, and we
got separated before I got the courage to ask her out. Somehow, even
though we met up again, I'm in the Zone. And it really pisses me off.
Been the story of my life. Either I got disinterested, or I really
messed things up.
Today, I want to appreciate my parents for my upbringing. I didn't
always get what I wanted, but I got some of the most important things,
like seeing my dad love my mom, getting disciplined by both my
parents, my schooling, and other things. They may not have been the
best parents in the world, but they did a great job (try raising a
knucklehead type like me & see how you do). You rock, Dad! Love you!
Appreciate your important people while they're around. My mom's passed
on, and while I didn't turn out as well as might be expected, I'm not
that bad.
Excuse the lack of techie posts on this blog. I've not done any techie
stuff in a while. Been watching anime & movies (about a third through
Gurren Lagann - I can see why some friends have been making noise
about it).
Well, this post's about done. God's been good, and that's that. He
ABSOLUTELY rocks!

--
Sent from my mobile device

04-11-09

2009-11-04T22:30:00.001+01:00

It's almost 10pm, and I'm sleepy, so I've no idea how this one's gonna go.
I net someone through this blog. That's right. Apparently, Googlebots
(or Yahoobots, if you will) led someone posted here to Zamfara state
to this here blog, and said person found my email (Google!) and
contacted me. We dallied about a bit, and he's now on camp. Seems like
a pretty decent fellow. I've no idea if (or how) we'll stay in touch
after camp.
Ah, camp. The thought brings memories of weeding patches with a hoe,
and aching muscles. And noise. Lots of noise. And lots of people,
prospective corps members and otherwise, some of the former who from
their behaviour should have never entered, let alone left, the four
walls of the institution from which they graduated. I still find it
hard to believe that on Tuesday before 4am, they were queueing in
front of the school used as the temporary camp & its administrative
headquarters. In the blistering cold. That's right folks. Harmattan
has come to Tsafe, and boy, taking showers in the morning before going
to school is not work for a lazy man, as my people would say. Guys in
Party House don't have toilet facilities, so we take showers outside &
'shot-put' (if you're ignorant, may you remain in blissful ignorance).
Hence, for the past few days I've been doing delay tactics when it
comes to showers in the morning. Not that I'm really successful with
them, since I still need to get to my PPA before 8 most days.
Seems like the power company has moved our supply period from about
4pm to about 8pm. The timing is still inconvenient, since while the
camp lasts, NCCF has meetings from 6pm everyday. Still, it's
something, and I'm grateful that we have any at all. The guys living
in the local government housing have none (their transformer has
'blown').
W's around for this camp again (met her during my own camp). Currently
trying to kill my attraction to her (finally got her digits due to a
bunch of things - methinks that's not a very effective way of killing
emotions). Anyway, need to treat some mess ups over XtraCool tonight,
so it's beddie-byes for now. Later

--
Sent from my mobile device

27-10-09

2009-10-27T19:55:00.001+01:00

Tomorrow's P's birthday. I've not fully decided what to give her. The
day before my birthday, she invited me to hers to eat whatever I
wanted the next day. Being true to myself, I managed to be occupied
till it was late, then sent a text appreciating the gesture (and her
text - it was the first to come in), and give my apologies for not
taking her up on her invitation. If you have a good idea that will
work for a brother on a budget & with a deadline, please drop me a
line, ok?
Dropped by the General Hospital today to meet some folks & get a test
done (no, I already did one to check if I've a brain in my skull.
There *is* one, and it doesn't rattle around in said skull). There was
this little girl who couldn't have been 2 years old, brought in by her
mother. For some reason, the lab people needed to draw blood, and they
tried time and again to do so and kept coming up with empty syringes.
She kept crying, and her pain touched me. Like all those little things
that remind me I'm human though, I forgot her in the rush to achieve
my own ends.
I've a beautiful friend that is an indigen of Zamfara, and on learning
I was posted here, I sent her a text (thanks MTN, for not delivering
it) joking that I was going to the paradise of beautiful women. During
camp, I wanted to ask her if she hid them all. Now, I'd modify that
question: where're all the grown-up ones? I can't date teenagers or
younger (and why am I in a school - a *primary* school? I keep
thinking, I hope they don't marry off my girls while they're still
kids, that they get a chance to grow up & live life)!
I was caught with my shorts down taking a crap today. Make of it what
you will. It wasn't any of my kids who caught me, though, nor was it a
female.
It's raining and it seems there's a cat drenched. It's mewing outside
while the Nigerian U-17 team plays. I'm not watching. There isn't any
point. When our U-20 team played Tahiti, I sat in the common room
where the match was showing *throughout the match*, then had to ask
someone for the scores after the match. I just don't dig soccer.
My test came up negative for malaria parasites and 'too low' for
typhoid. That's odd because I had been having fevers on and off since
Thursday, and even went to sleep with one on Sunday, yet I'd taken no
medication. God must have smuggled something into my mouth ;). My
dreams of boiled sweet potatoes, fish stew & <efo riro> came to pass
this morning, too :P. Pity I didn't eat it warm.
Well, that's all for now folks. Be good, and don't let the bed bugs bite.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Batch C Passing out

2009-10-20T18:27:00.001+01:00

Today's batch C's passing out. While it's long overdue, I feel
envious, because I haven't run my course here. I also feel some
relief, because I'll be rid of some people who have had a tendency to
do or say annoying things. A little green-eyed monster is lurking
somewhere around, because some people I'll miss, including the former
Corper Liaison Officer, and the former General Secretary, an
exceptional young lady who exemplifies what men call 'wife material'.
There are women & there are *women*. She isn't the best looking young
lady around here, but her attitude & personality are top-notch. I need
to work hard on myself so I can take care of someone like her (I'm
definitely going to marry someone like her. Who no like good thing?).
Anyhow, I's all good in the hood. Later

--
Sent from my mobile device

MTN, like what?!?

2009-10-18T05:27:00.001+01:00

I started an experiment today. Yesterday I got a call from a fella I
knew back down South. Said dude has since moved out of the country,
and called me about some help he wanted. My Gmail phone client
wouldn't download the attachment he sent, so I installed Nokia PC
Suite & set up my phone as a modem, connected to MTN & fired up Opera
10 with no images.
Before I started, my credit was NGN 1586. The Gmail homepage failed to
load initially, so I turned on Opera Turbo. I logged in to Gmail,
opened the fella's email & tried downloading his attachment (153kB).
The attachment failed to finish downloading initially & Opera
restarted the download. Once it was done, I shut down the connection.
Results: the attachment was corrupt (56kB), download speed was about
2.5kB/s (average) & I had NGN 1302 left.
Conclusion: MTN GPRS sucks majorly for modem usage & is *WAY* too
expensive for the QoS delivered.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Houston, need some help here...

2009-10-16T22:25:00.002+01:00

So yesterday - in the immortal words of Angry Kid - "was an anus.
Horriblus. Horriblanus". I found my students - class 5 to be exact -
don't seem to know how to divide. For real, 4/2 gave then problems.
Plus, I was called upon to give the message during the fellowship
prayer meeting yesterday.

That wasn't so bad, except someone right in front of me seemed more
interested in looking outside. I do suppose it's marginally better
than that time I was called upon to give the message during Party
House morning devotion. Then, I think someone walked out once I
stepped up. Then again, yesterday, the person couldn't just walk away
- Party House is over 10 minutes walk from the church we use for
meetings.
Today was much better. A showed up at PH, planning to spend the night
with me. I went to prepare a meal without inviting him cause my last
real meal was yesterday morning, and I'd just come back from my PPA.
Had to give some students 6 strokes each cause they didn't attempt
their Science homework. Wasn't pretty.
Mallam SK put on the gen for almost 7 hours today. Good thing too,
since both my phone batteries had run down by last night. Spent some
more time on C#, lambdas & LINQ via LinqBridge. Then wasted quite the
rest of the time watching Kurozuka.
Odd thing happened this morning: yesterday evening, my roommate went
to get water from the borehole @ the local government office. Today,
he suggested I use some of it for my shower this morning so I didn't
need to stress myself for water. Forgot all about it till now. Thank
God for favor. Well, I'm having dinner, so some other time then.

--
Sent from my mobile device

To join, or not to join, that is the question

2009-10-05T21:24:00.001+01:00

Erma Bombeck said, "Insanity is hereditary, you can catch it from your
kids" . I agree. There are few human beings as crazy as kids. I should
know. I teach Social Studies & Science to kids at the moment. I hope I
was never a kid. I like to think of myself as always having been sane.
On the issue of kids, we had power yesterday morning & this morning in
Tsafe. It was a miracle. Someone had to have done something *REALLY*
good to have offset all the candy-stealing (from kids) I've done in my
life (maybe Jesus died?).
On the subject matter, I'm wondering if I should join the League of
Nonpaying Mobile Internet Users on MTN. I realize I called them niggas
a while back. Then I got off my high horse for a bit. There's little
difference between software/media piracy & stealing bandwidth. One may
be bytes stored, and the other bytes streamed. Same difference. And
since I've been branded as an unrepentant pirate (I wonder when I'll
kick the fansubbed anime habit, for one thing), I belong in the same
class.
Anyway, I'll be nodding off soon so I can get up early to prepare to
go to the asylum-sorry, school. Later.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Somebody help!

2009-10-03T08:02:00.001+01:00

About 7.30 this morning. A cold breeze is blowing & I'm sitting in
front of Party House swatting away flies that land on my legs. Despite
all I know about this place, I'm still wearing shorts. Maybe I'm just
used to them.
I have a bit of a headache, I've no idea why. My roommate just said
hello. I waved back, but remembered that last night, he asked someone,
'she Dipo na human being?'. It feels difficult to stay positive here.
More & more, this place shows me my flaws all too clearly: my tendency
to look for a crutch, to lay blame, to find excuses, my selfishness,
indecisiveness...my dirty laundry is being exposed. So far, however,
only I see it.
I've been sleeping with someone - literally. At least half of my
room's population is made up of corpers yet to relocate to their
places of primary assignment. One used to be in my platoon. On the
strength of that, and because there was no other free space in the
room with a mosquito net, I invited him to sleep with me on my bed -
and have been regretting it since. Mostly due to my reduced personal
space. It sometimes makes me consider him a nuisance. Now they won't
be leaving until after clearance. Yay. Be still, my expectant heart.
Someone once said it seems to be a crime to supply power to this part
of the state. I remember someone telling me she was posted to a place
where there's power 12 hours daily. I wish that were me.
I feel I'm slowly going crazy here. On the 1st, people were playing
draughts around this time. Shows what the place is like. I've cooked &
eaten out of boredom a couple of times.
I really wish I've something upbeat & positive to say, but it's hard
enough not being actively destructive. There are some good things
about here - you'd be suprised just how many potatoes I got for N100
here; or some of the kids where I teach.
Well, I've gotta go now. I've run down my phone battery writing this.
Have a great weekend.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Back in Tsafe

2009-09-20T20:26:00.001+01:00

So I'm back in Tsafe, Zamfara state. Evenings are boring, considering
there's been no power. It's not yet 8pm, and everyone's indoors.
I'm living in a sorry building called 'Party House', as there's no
accomodation in my place of primary assignment. Quite a number of
corpers are here, some temporarily, some until the service year ends.
I have to confess I don't have a whole lot of enthusiasm for this
place. Since I don't have a matress, I had to get a mat from a kind
soul who let me have his.
I got here just as the fast ended, so I had no luck today getting some
things I'll be needing for the service year.
I'm not sure why I'm not complaining that much. I really thought I'd
be more miserable than this. Or maybe I've not really grasped the
enormity of my situation. Either way, some guys just started asking my
advice about what laptop to buy (something I *really* hate being
asked, because newbies don't easily get that it's not an exact
science). Well, it's past 8, and since there's nothing doing, I'll be
going to sleep. Later

--
Sent from my mobile device

New blogging option

2009-09-19T03:56:00.001+01:00

Since Opera Mini was shut down by my mobile service provider, I've
needed to look out options for doing my 'internetting' (mostly Twitter
& blogging - i'm mostly ok as far as email goes). I've found out how
to make Twitter work with my builtin mobile browser, and enabled
blogging via email. I wish the email source had more options, but
whatever works, right? Later.

--
Sent from my mobile device

A trip down to the South-South

2009-09-14T05:27:00.001+01:00

We (that is to say my family) just got back from a trip to the South-South, specifically Delta State. We went there to attend a traditional wedding ceremony — my dad's.

We left Friday morning, a few minutes past 6am. I was late as usual, trying to complete my previous post, add appropriate music to my MP3 player and phone, and generally get stuff ready to create my kind of atmosphere in a strange land. One consequence of my leaving the house late was that I was left to lock the flat, but someone had taken the key away, so I was basically wasting my time in there. Anyhow, we managed to get to my uncle's less than 10 minutes late, said hello, hi and whatnots to my cousins, and then left for the 'real' convergence point, where some staff from my dad's office were already waiting.

Nobody had had breakfast, and I was just recovered from a bout with malaria, so I was pretty hungry. I then realized I'd left my medication at home. Fortunately, I'd completed my dosage of shots the evening before, and since I was basically on painkillers, I decided it wasn't too much of a problem (of course, I still have a sneaking suspicion that the shots were responsible for some itching attacks I got about my hands and feet). I would have cause to feel some regret about that later. After waiting around for some people to show up, we finally took off from Ojota almost two hours later than we agreed to meet. I promptly fell asleep within 30 minutes of our departure, considering that I'd been up most of the night before, and I've shown very little tolerance for staying awake on long journeys till date.

Anyhow, the journey was pretty uneventful until sometime about 11am, when we got to Ore. Let it suffice to say that quite a number of the rumors I heard turned out to be true, as we spent about 5 hours in senseless traffic there, and might have spent longer had not our driver taken a turn off the main highway and somehow linked to the end of the snarl. At this point, I must: thank God we weren't longer in the traffic & congratulate the Federal Government of Nigeria for keeping to the Zero Point Agenda with such tenacity. The road was in a woeful state of disrepair — it was common for drivers to leave their rightful lane and face oncoming traffic. I can't say I completely blame the leadership of the country, though — attempting to start the necessary repair on that road would probably paralyze traffic. Still, while they vote themselves pay raises and feed fat on the nation, ordinary people have to make do with such sub-human circumstances. Casting blame won't solve the problems facing the country, so I'll get on with my story.

Sometime close to 10pm we wandered into the Ibru Center, Ughelli, Delta State after a long journey. While it's showing age, it's a lovely place, well laid-out. It was built and donated by Alex Ibru to the Anglican Communion. It's usually used for retreats and the like. It's even got a swimming pool. Would have uploaded pics, but the camera I used is actually a camcorder and records better movies than it takes stills (crappy 640x480 stills). The upshot is that we turned in late, really late.

Saturday began at a rather more sane pace. The traditional wedding was to start at midday, so we basically had free time till it was about 11, then proceeded to get stuck again in traffic. We finally got to the venue some minutes to 1, and soon after I began recording the proceedings. Then I had to deal with people walking just any old way and getting in the way of my recording. After some preliminaries, the real action moved into the house while most people started on the food. I was constantly on my feet, pushed around by photographers and cameramen, as well as trying to avoid stepping on people's feet, and soon my patience had gone where dead crabs go (it also didn't help that I'd wanted to take a leak since we got out of the bus). After the customary gift-giving and payment of the bride price, some fake brides were presented :), before the real bride was brought forward. Soon it was over, and then the couple presented themselves to everyone before going to their 'thrones'. Loads of pictures were taken at the point, and after about three-quarters of an hour more, we left. I don't think I have to say what I first went to do ;) I later heard that someone fired a gun into the air. I had seen some guys walking around with arms, but I decided to pay them no mind. These Niger Delta people, dem fit kill person o!

The trip back yesterday was mostly uneventful, except that an idiot mobile policeman threw a block of wood at our driver when he didn't turn as quickly as he wanted to. I wanted to toss the wood outside the bus, but when I saw he wanted to pick it up for another go, I help on to it tight. I guess he was pissed off that he couldn't get something from a younger man, so he punched me in the head. I spent quite some time after that wishing I had super powers, like an ability to stop time or something. Of course, I didn't get any by wishing :P. When we got to Lagos, someone wanted to get off at Alapere bus stop, since we were en route to Ojota via Ogudu. We parked into the bus stop proper, only to be told by waiting LASTMA and mobile policemen (ostensibly overjoyed that some mugus had fallen into their trap) that that spot was a BRT-only parking space and we'd have to shell out 25k. For crying out loud, there's a pedestrian bridge at that spot! Of course law-abiding drivers would want to drop passengers off at the bus stop and not just stop off the highway. Besides, the sign that the space was only for BRT buses was located inside the parking area! You wouldn't be able to read it until it was too late! Anyhow, it was settled in proper Naija fashion — which I'm not proud of.

Well, I'm back and will soon be leaving for Zamfara again, as my leave's just about over.

Some things I just don't get

2009-09-11T05:43:00.002+01:00

Word of faith guys may hack me for this title, but there are things that I won't understand this side of eternity. One thing I definitely know is I never wanna get ill EVER again. My rump has been exposed to four different women in the last 3 days, and while I joked to the nurses about it — even going as far as being asked "don't you have a girlfriend?" — I have to say that it's embarrassing. It doesn't do anything for my pride (I can't tell about other guys) to discuss my health while an attractive lady (at least one of the four was — and married too :P) sticks it to me with a hypodermic needle.

and that's why I don't understand why seemingly smart women (and dumb ones too) act like the one I sat behind in the bus I took to get my last shot yesterday evening did — her bare rump was quite exposed when she sat down, and stayed that way the whole trip . I wanted to gag. That's nigga behaviour — if the top shows too much or the bottoms sag, CHANGE IT!. I feel so strongly about this that I actually wanted to make a decision on dating someone because she consistently avoided exposing herself. She is fashionable, but not crude

And on nigga behaviour, some cheapskate niggas who use hacked versions of Opera Mini have now made some other niggas working in MTN to block Opera Mini. I've always paid for my browsing using Opera Mini. Now I can't use it. It's like Chris Rock said: Black people enjoying something, niggas come and f*ck it up. later

Back...for a while, anyway

2009-09-10T07:38:00.002+01:00

feels good to be home. and i have been home for two weeks today. unfortunately, i was too lazy, too busy, too tired and too ill (not all at the same time, mind) to log in here and update my own blog. geh. anyhow, i'm breaking that cycle now. i also hope to blog at least once a week when i get back to Zamfara, since my local government of posting is a nice little place that has no internet whatsoever.

Camp had its good sides. i wasn't the only person from school posted to Zamfara — a buddy of mine was posted there too (not that it did much good; we did see quite a number of times, but...life happens, you know. and in case you didn't already know it, i kinda get prickly when i think people get too close. defense mechanism. what can i say?). i got stuck in the most unserious platoon, managed to escape most of the hard stuff, and even got to play a couple of Scrabble™ games with a pretty good player. met some chicks, didn't get into any relationships, didn't get redeployed, and got posted to a nursery and primary school.

before i left home i started developing an application for a friend, and due to time constraints, i was forced to use an ORM for the project. since getting back i've worked more on the project and what i really want to say is: how in the world did i live before NHibernate and Castle ActiveRecord? it's going to be very hard doing any development and still using SQL queries and data connection calls. if you're never used an ORM before and you're a developer, you should invest some time in learning one. i recommend NHibernate for .NET developers, but since i think the XML mappings are a pain (turned me off NHibernate immediately), you can use a framework that leverages NHibernate without the mappings. Examples include Castle ActiveRecord and Fluent NHibernate(please be familiar with C# 3.0 syntax - it'll help. greatly)

in developing the application i mentioned above, i have become even more convinced that UI development is for idiots. it feels so much like cruel and unusual punishment. must be why my pay was that low — i hardly did any UI development while i was working. simply focused on logic. mostly daemons and console apps in my kitty.

apparently i pissed off some demonic mosquitoes for being far too heavy to carry away to roast over their campfire in Zamfara, so they retaliated by injecting me chock full of malaria parasites. slow-acting ones. for more than a week after i got home, i never realized anything was wrong. and the flies must have had something to do with it too. that place is full of flies. apparently they overheard me asking several times if there wasn't any commercial gain to be had from houseflies, and acted as informant to the mosquitoes. ah well.

my leave's almost up, and i haven't done anything i wanted to do for myself, and i have so much to do for other people *sob*. well, i'll be off now. i'm glad Jeff Lew finally made his dream of creating his own movie come true (bu he lived on his savings for 4 years to make it happen!). since the first time i watched Killer Bean 2: The Party, i was impressed by his work. Jeff's an inspiration to us all, so get off your butt! gotta run now — i still need to bare my butt to a lady to get a shot twice today. see y'all.

Logging in from Zamfara

2009-08-16T00:49:00.001+01:00

man, it's been forever, twice that & a half since i last updated this blog. Partly due to each of: pure laziness, internet issues, & my posting for youth service coming up.

Annoying bugs won't let me post this by my phone (12:44am here, with no power) so i'll be going offline till later. Shower time — i can choose to do it in the rain or use my hard-earned water (i know you're green with envy ;)!

Women...are like...code

2009-07-24T02:55:00.004+01:00

it's almost 3am local time. i am tired. beat. i want to curl up and let that snooze rip! and i might be forgiven for this post's crazy title.

i've been called a lot of things, but one that seems to fit quite well is geek. i fiddle around with computers. or at least my computer. i live in a world largely of my own making. and sometimes i write code. not programs, necessarily. and the more i think of it, the more it seems to me that an apt description of women is code (i am quite — sometimes painfully, i might add, sometimes — that i don't have one of my own at the moment). my reasons are quite simple (for the analogy. the singleness will take some more thinking about. heh heh heh, ahem).

while i was actively working (and before then) i'd written code. and let's face it programmers: do we suck. our programs rarely do everything we assume they will do. hence we cover our shame in patches, updates and service fixes. and sometimes, we just might have found a better way to do something, so the application eats less resources (a very big dream, this) or somewhat. so this puts you in a position with Old Code and New Code. stay with me, here's where the analogy kicks in

Old Code tends to work in most cases (except the miraculous corner cases that tend to make stutterers out of the most eloquent of developers. i must add at this point that developers are rarely very eloquent). sometimes Old Code has Major Flaws. like security holes. or eating up all the user's available memory and some. or spawning a twisted creature from the depths of hell (that last one might not be as made-up as you might think). or maybe the changes are (largely) cosmetic, usually as a result of the developer learning a better way of doing something, or more likely, his perfectionism kicking in and him just wanting to squeeze a few more clock cycles out of his app. either way, you know Old Code. it's rarely the prettiest thing in sight, but if you released it, it probably works (one software joke goes: it works? ship it!). this is like a relationship you're in and bored with, or an ex. save for those awful corner cases, you 'know' Old Code (in reality, more like you stopped asking questions, but who needs to know these teensy-weensy details?)

New Code is virgin territory. it's never been released — more often than not, it's still just trying to get out of your skull, preferably with a blowtorch. especially if you're like me and have a perfectionist bent. you generally start New Code saying that you (or your boss) don't like the way the Old Code works or something (boring relationship, anyone?) is wrong with Old Code. you promise not to base New Code on Old Code, but we all know with a deadline breathing down your neck, and your boss(es) usually not having a clue to how difficult it might be to crank out New Code, and pure laziness — pick any one or more — we've based New Code on Old Code (relationships that are most likely doomed from the start come to mind?), and the mistakes and bad choices from Old Code come into New Code. if that happens, be ready to repeat the nightmare.

oh, yes! the analogy. perfect timing. i was just about dozing off on my keyboard. New Code is the hot new exotic babe you just want to go out with/never-noticed-until-just-recently/whatever or the new relationship. and Old Code can be clingy like an ex. granted, she looks fat. and her abdomen isn't flat anymore. in my experience though, there's nothing so annoying as Old Code that works (she cooks, cleans and whatnot) when New Code doesn't. that takes the absolute cake. and is the real reason i posted this in the first place.

well, i have to stop here since i've been at this for more than 30 minutes and i think i see sheep trying to count me. so good morning, and maybe i'll be more coherent some other time. later

PS:i dislike Visual Basic in any form. i had to write some code in it this past weekend (i can feel my skin crawl at the thought) — for the .NET 1.1 platform, nonetheless. however, Boo sounds more and more interesting these days. even more than IronPython.

I's back!

2009-07-21T03:39:00.004+01:00

man, i have to stop watching movies like the last two i watched. there's no way i won't tear up if i keep this up. just to be clear, the last two movies i watched are Fireproof and A Walk to Remember. and i watched them after completing Midori no Hibi — my sentiment meter is now sky high :(

and yeah, i's back. as a friend said, hear me RAWR! apparently, NYSC didn't quite pan out as expected, and i'm still around till August. was in school about 3 weeks back to pick up my posting and all that. i nicknamed the place i was staying 'Australia', cause it was far away from school area (Staff Quarters, Road 24, for those of you in the know). couple that with the fact that school was basically empty due to strike actions by different bodies, and the script for my personal pain and discomfort during my stay is complete. the only ride i could count on getting was Ye Olde Legedez Benz, in pouring rain and burning sun. am i glad to be back home. being in school did have its benefits, like hanging out with some friends i'd not seen in a while.

i know of at least 4 weddings of friends taking place within the next 3 months. gah. i swear i sometimes feel like there's something wrong with me. where's my babe? she is so going to get a talking to when she manifests — why in the world is she keeping me waiting? (knowing women though, she'll probably manage to convince me that it's my fault for not 'declaring'). i reserve to right to not be family at any person's wedding. plenty family clothes to buy if i don't reserve that right.

my stand on football (read: soccer) varies from passive tolerance to active dislike. the last match i watched from beginning to end was the Atlanta '96 football final between Brazil and Nigeria. and i don't remember (or care) who scored and whatnot. but my friend's football-oriented social site, Gamen11 is up. so if you like football, register, spread the word and all that. and away from me, if you please, or i will assume you left your mind in the other room. i like my friend more than i dislike football, but i really don't like football, so there.

well, it's past 4am here and i haven't slept all night, so i'll be suspending everything at this point. except of course for the shout-outs. i got a text from a friend saying that he was grateful that i'd impacted someone's life because the person was now helping him out tremendously. everyone is a product of all the relationships they've had and the information they've obtained, or so i'm told, so i want to shout out to God, for being God and not quitting or going on vacation, my family, friends over the years — if anyone appreciates me, it's because you all were there. so thank you. i really, truly appreciate you. later

Conscience vs ease...ease has a more compelling argument!

2009-06-29T20:32:00.002+01:00

recently i decided to go the honest way and install a genuine copy of Microsoft Windows XP Home on my lappie. that wasn't too hard seeing that i already had a copy around — the one that came with the lappie. there was just one problem: the lappie is a German product by a company called Medion. well, i decided to just try it out anyway and see what i could do with it. before plunging in, i'd researched and found out that while Microsoft allows you to localize an English copy of Microsoft Windows to a non-English language, you can't do the reverse. so my German Windows XP remains German.

that notwithstanding, i decided to dive in. the format was last night, and it's not so bad with the OS itself so far (i expect major annoyances down the road). my major annoyances are with keyboard shortcuts (for example, i'd usually do winkey, U, U to shut down. i'm so used to it. no more. it's winkey, C, A now). so i have to use the mouse until i either revert to piracy and install an English version of Windows XP or learn the shortcut. in case you were wondering why i didn't mention buying a copy of Windows XP, it's simply because even that aged operating system plays out of my league. a legal copy of Windows XP would cost approximately a sixth of my monthly paycheck. normally, that might not be a big problem, but i'm currently on a budget causing me to stretch a bit for a while. so unless something extraordinary happens, i won't be in a position to donate some bucks to Microsoft's coffers just yet (if i hear any Linux fanboy say anything …). i've had some other issues like on dialogs i rarely use (for instance, i was relocating the swap file, and had to compare with the office box for what some controls were for; just now i wanted to stop Automatic Updates, and entered net stop "automatic updates" at the console. obviously, i got an error message, as the service is called "automatische updates")

i envisage more problems with software and the web. my touchpad driver and Safari both installed in German. a quick look on Google helped with Safari. internationalized sites (and software) such as Google will default to the OS language, though strangely enough, Internet Explorer still went to the English version of MSN. i haven't installed much yet, but i'm hoping it won't be too much of a hassle for me.

so why am i even talking about this? i want to draw a parallel here. far too many people my age rush into relationships due to one thing or the other, and don't really count the cost, just as i didn't fully comprehend the magnitude of the decision to use a German version of Windows XP. i concur that you can never completely predict the future — i was completely not expecting Safari to be internationalized, but you can get some far-reaching insight to what the future might be. for me, one format can solve the problems i mentioned and hinted at above, with little cost to anyone except me. for a relationship, there's no telling where the fallout will hit. so, in the spirit of my last few posts, please take time to carefully consider prospective future partners. we could all do with less heartache. later

Straight talk

2009-06-21T16:06:00.003+01:00

wow. third spagh meal in < 24 hours. if some spiky stuff starts growing outta my head, y'all heard it here first. right, down to today's business. i'm ticked off because: i got home late from church; i'm unsatisfied with my lunch; i was told in no uncertain terms several times today to get into a relationship, and i have a boatload of stuff to do. if i missed anything, i'll mention it later.

today i'd like to share some thoughts with guys. so this stuff may not be appropriate for ladies (and liberal arts majors). in fact, i reserve all rights to this post. so if you're reading this, it's either because you're a guy or you're a curious wench who has ignored my warnings against reading this long. let's assume you're a guy — just for argument. just note that YOU WERE WARNED. i was going to include the whole ERLA, but laziness prevailed, so i'll just assume you read it and agreed to waive any rights to prosecute me if this post does not appeal to your sense of decency. 'nuff said. moving on:

You are responsible. yep, you are. for the Flood, for the sacking of Troy, for Watergate, and probably for the Apocalypse as well. ok, maybe not that. but you are responsible for any state you (or your relationship) are in right now. whether you're single or you mingle, whether your relationship sucks or rocks, you are responsible for the state of your life. so kick off any diapers you might be wearing and assume the position (sorry, responsibility). there is no man so weak as the one that assumes no responsibility. it's mysterious, but taking up responsibility makes a person stronger. and it's all the more truer for men.
pretty don't take the cake (aka you can't eat pretty). growing up, i ate some of the ickiest (at least in my opinion at the time) stuff anyone might consider food. i particularly didn't like beans (and it shows now :D), and i always wondered why my mum even bothered. there was so much more interesting stuff like ice cream and chocolate. i still wonder why it is that stuff that's bad for you can easily taste so good, while stuff that's good for you needs quite some work to taste good. what's that got to do with women? you can't eat pretty. pretty doesn't keep a home clean and tidy. pretty doesn't help raise wonderful kids. a good woman (please notice the emphasis) does. i love pretty and beautiful things. i also would never marry a beautiful rug. let her looks be the icing on the (already excellent) cake. you can eat cake without icing, but icing without cake will just make you sick (let's not carry the analogy too far, as too much cake can also make you sick). someone once said a beautiful woman devoid of sense is a gold ring in a pig's snout. i realize you're wired to look for hot chicks with great bodies, but hold on a cotton-pickin' minute. Lewz D. Scruz's Guide to Women tells me that you will always find a more beautiful woman. so, looks can be sacrificed for more important things. what are those more important things? how should i know?
sex blinds you unless it's in the right context, so don't feed sexual desires. a wise man from the east told me that a relationship is like a model of a house. the model exists to tell you what the house is like, but you would have to reduce your stature to live in the model. that's an excellent description of what extramarital sex is like. you demean yourself if you're 'getting some' outside legal marriage. i'm not talking based on my Judeo-Christian roots. i'm talking from experience. i once tried to live in a kid's sketch of a house — i'm stretching the above analogy here, not being literal. it wasn't even up to the standard of an architect's first draft. it wasn't worth it. for one thing, you sow seeds of distrust that lay low until later if you eventually decide to 'go steady' with the person. or you might end up comparing one person's performance with another person's. the last thing you want to do is call someone else's name when you've made a commitment to someone (it's happened before). i remember once i was talking to an acquaintance, he spotted a young lady her knew and said i suppose fuck that girl, to which i replied that if she slept with him, there's a really big probability the she was — or would be — sleeping with someone else. there's absolutely nothing anyone can do to convince me that extramarital sex does any good, even without the 'benefit' of 'religious beliefs'. the fact that everyone on the planet seems to be mad is no reason for you to lose your head. a really effective way to keep out of extramarital sex is don't feed lust. don't kiss her. avoid pornography. don't jerk off (or wank, or whatever you decide to call it). in short, be disciplined, even in the area of food. you're wired to go in only one direction from doing most of the things above (i mention food as an example because if you let yourself slide in one way, you're likely to slide in other ways). so don't bother trying to fight nature. being the smart guy you are, you already know you'll lose.
on your commitment, set, go! we live in a world that encourages us to be irresponsible. as i write, i've a great deal of laundry to do, and i fell asleep at my computer right after lunch. it's easy to leave things undone, just let them 'slide'. the problem is, because life is like a knitted jersey, tugging on one string can let the whole thing unravel. and a great deal of discipline is sticking to your commitments. i don't care if it's just that you planned to do the dishes or you have someone you're 'dating' (how i dislike that word. it gives me the creeps). as Arkad (The Richest Man in Babylon) said, you should complete each task you set yourself to, or how else will you gain confidence in your ability to do other tasks? i 'fapped' this from a friend who won't mind me using it here: If you don't make a TOTAL COMMITMENT to whatever you are doing, then you start looking to bailout the first time the boat starts leaking. It's tough enough getting the boat to the shore with everybody rowing, let alone when a guy stands up and starts putting his life jacket on. so take off the life jacket, and start rowing. if you burn your bridges/boats, you have only once choice — win. as long as you present yourself with two options, you cannot focus. once you cannot focus, your chances of winning are reduced. focus is an amazing thing that does two completely opposite things at the same time: expands your vision and narrows it. be like Arkad, who loved leisure, and would not commit himself to things that would become burdensome for him to complete. be picky about what you allow yourself do, but don't do nothing. that's simply failure in party clothes trying to disguise itself. you're a man: to pick up a responsiblity is to commit to it. i remember one of my teachers stamping it into my being that leaders always find a way (for the team) to win. he lived it himself. sometimes i've fely like cursing him for teaching me that, because a lot of times, it was the only thing that spurred me to accomplishing some tasks (no, i've never cursed him, only that when the 'ice cream moments' come — when you feel you did 'enough' and should let things slide — i remember him and it, and i no longer feel comfortable slacking off). i'm told that if we did everything we were capable of, we would literally astound ourselves. this point was beautifully illustrated in the movie Facing the Giants, when Buck did the death crawl blindfolded.
this one's so important, i'm tempted to advise you to put your relationship on 'hold' if you're lacking here until you sort this out. have somewhere going (aka have your own business, but not entirely in that sense). a reason a lot of guys don't want to ask ladies 'out' (where? the coffee shop? the mall? Paris?) is that they feel women want ready-made guys. i've been convinced (today, actually) that what women really need is security, and they're willing to hope that a share in your 'business' (or vision, dream or whatever) will provide them that. so, have somewhere going, something doing. be aspiring to something great, and be walking in that direction, running when you can, stumbling or crawling when you're forced to, flying when you have the means to — but be getting somewhere great, a place you can share with her and the kids and other people. a place where you're a real man who looks behind him and sees people following simply because he's impacted them for good.
if you're not married to her, and you don't have the same (or very similar) value systems, break it up. let's face it, she's great. she's hot. but there's this problem: she's a party person, and you really don't dig parties. you don't mind a little libation now and then, and she's a teetotaler. stuff like that. please break up. there's the feeling of love, and there's the attitude of love. don't let the feeling blind you, because in a committed relationship, you live off the attitude of love, not the feeling (now you might understand why you never killed your annoying little brother). the feeling will wax and wane. the attitude is a choice. there's no point making the choice all the harder — it's hard enough without doing anything else. wherever you are, relationship-wise, keep driving the blinders back!. feelings are fickle things. it's a foolish man indeed who would risk the joy of 40 years or more for feelings that may have lasted 1 year or less (actually, you really shouldn't care how long the feelings have lasted). you're not emo by nature, so it's easier for you to sidestep your feelings and emotional attachments and deal with issues.

that's it for now. i've dishes to do. no point teaching and not doing. i'll update this later, so later!

Close marking (2)

2009-06-17T07:34:00.002+01:00

wow. my lil' ol' blog post garnered some attention on Facebook. thanks for all the feedback. i guess it is true that people are really interested in relationships. so i wonder: are relationships so difficult to work that most people tend to have vicarious relationships, or what? relationship changes are what catches the eyes of quite a number of my friends on Facebook. were i to change my status to 'in a relationship', i'd get quite the feedback. and that's probably because i have developed the persona of the nasty grook.

i like the idea behind Ne-Yo's song She Got Her Own because it basically describes a sentiment i really feel: it's more of an honour if a lady chooses to be with me than if she needs me. that eliminates the "i married you because of your money/looks/body/<insert wanted item here>" problem. we're together because each of us clear-headedly considered options, thought things out, looked at our lives' goals, and chose to be together. guys (i don't think i could ever get to understanding how ladies work, so i'm talking to the people i do understand), it's long overdue that we stop thinking with our testicles (male hormones come from here, so pardon me). yeah, we are attracted by what we see, but for crying out loud — how long will we continue to be implicated as irresponsible playboys?

work beckons. i'll continue this some other day.

Close marking

2009-06-14T13:55:00.003+01:00

ki lo'n ro? o kan' fe'yin lat'aro…ki lo'n shele pel'omo yen? (Translation: what are you thinking about? you've been smiling for a while now…what's going on between you and that young lady?). So began a conversation with B today about a mutual friend. normally, i don't really like references to my single status. B's a good friend, so i let it slide. just told him that we're just friends. B didn't want to hear that. told B that i'd asked her out a while back and she said she wasn't game. B countered that even if it was last month, i could still ask her out again. i said i didn't want to, since i'd been put in the friend zone.

the friend zone. there probably isn't a female invention scarier to a young man. about the only thing scarier is the nice friend zone. one chick finds out you're a nice guy, somehow other chicks find out, and soon enough you end up as deputy assistant vice boyfriend to one or more chicks. meaning, you spend time with the chick, but you're disposable. she may cry on your shoulder, but you're expendable. enjoy what time you have with her, because she's got someone else in mind most likely. or so i think anyway. what do i really care?

i got thinking about what B said. she's a lovely young lady in more ways than one, but … i don't really think i'm up for a relationship now. more so since i decided that i don't have that much to offer anyone. and quite a bit in my life isn't going to change soon. it wasn't that long ago i thought any chick who liked me was either batty, extremely optimistic, or didn't know me well. i've since discovered that while the latter is usually the case, i have some redeeming qualities like…em, i'll get back to you on that one, hopefully before the world ends.

naw. i think i'll just sleep this off. and wake up feeling better. cause earlier last week i was feeling a little jealous of a friend. you see, he's in love. and i kept wondering why it seemed it never happened like that for me (okay, that ill-fated relationship doesn't count). till i saw one of my friends lamenting about the same thing on Facebook. ah well.

Fooling around with Context Free

2009-06-07T07:43:00.004+01:00

have to get to church now, but i was playing with Context Free, and after looking at examples and several tries, i created a checkerboard using it.

the CFDG source is below:

startshape checkerMain

rule checkerMain {
 // modify the numbers at the start to
 // change how many are repeated
 10* { y 2 } checker2 {}
}

rule checker2 {
 10* { x 2 } checker {}
}

rule checker {
 SQUARE {}
 SQUARE { b .5 x 1 }
 SQUARE { b .5 y 1 }
 SQUARE { b 1 x 1 y 1 }
 SQUARE { s .25 b .5 x 1 y 1 }
}

3D object conversion

2009-06-05T13:10:00.003+01:00

"Install" is probably my middle name, with curiosity being the middle letter you don't see in there. So my computer is loaded with all kinds of software "just in case". sometimes i play with 3d apps. the ones i really use are Blender, Wings3D, Yafaray. other 3d stuff i have installed now includes Google Sketchup, an old version of Amapi, trueSpace 7.61 beta, Softimage Mod Tool, Mapzone, Terragen 2 and the open beta of Genetica 3 (no longer available, since the full version was released. i just hope they don't come after me for using it past the beta period).

anyhow, i had a few Sketchup models i wanted to import to Blender, since Blender is what i use for primary scene setup. i found out that Sketchup can export compressed Google Earth files, which internally use the Collada format. i exported the models, uncompressed them, and attempted to load the Collada file into Blender. all i ended up getting was a set of axes, most likely because the Blender Collada importer is about two years old. the free version of Sketchup can only export to Google Earth. the paid version is available for 480 minutes of trial, and can export to other formats, including 3DS, Wavefront OBJ and DXF (Blender does an excellent job of importing and exporting Wavefront). so i was in a quandary. Google, clear thinking and patience turned up three no-cost, honest solutions:

Use Softimage Mod Tool and Crosswalk to convert the Collada model
Use Meshlab to convert the Collada model
Use the Autodesk free FBX Tool to convert the model

so there you have it. i can stay honest and withing my (currently) really limited budget and use my Sketchup models in Blender!

And God sent a blessing in form of a cockroach...

2009-06-02T10:53:00.002+01:00

i realize that most people, being completely normal (and not scientists — how did they ever find out a cockroach will live without its head for over a week before dying of thirst? who was keeping count?), will be grossed out by cockroaches. so am i. but i'm really grateful for yesterday's cockroach. may it be happy in cockroach heaven, wherever that may be.

what has God got to do with cockroaches? plenty. apart from the fact that He created them, He's the only one who can explain to the disgusting vermin that we don't want to share home or hearth with them.

anyhow, due to a couple of reasons, i was really ticked off with my dad last night. i went to clean the car, and was really finding it hard to release the pent-up aggression. then out of practically nowhere, a cockroach came wandering on the car. i flicked it off with the cloth i was using to clean the car, and resumed cleaning. a few minutes later, i saw it wandering again somewhere on the wall, got really ticked off, and then dispatched it to cockroach afterlife — if there is any such thing. and then really weird thought came to me: what if God sent the cockroach for me to take out my aggression on? the thought was so ridiculous i had to laugh, but i'm not so sure God didn't. so i'm grateful that God cared enough to send me a cockroach (not that i'm asking for any more) :D

Baby steps with new renderers

2009-06-01T08:58:00.005+01:00

ok, so the 3-day weekend was fab. wasted a large portion of it playing Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia, which is the most difficult Castlevania game i've played to date (the demon-inspired 16-bit ones don't count). as a review put it: You will die. A lot.. anyhow, yesterday i decided to fire up Wings3D and see what i could come up with.

the original idea was to create a broadsword, but i kind of got bored with making a long blade and created a dagger. very simple dagger. then i remembered an old image in this article (skip to the last page, and click on the thumbnail), and decided to tamper with a good thing. modeling was done, fired up Blender for scene setup and materials. since i was being lazy, i didn't want to create a complex scene. i just wanted to play around with materials and Yafaray and Luxrender, for a couple of reasons.

when i first started using Blender, i didn't really like the internal raytracer. i could never seem to get the same great-looking scenes i saw in the galleries with it. then i heard of Yafray (the project that is now Yafaray), and i thought it sucked even more. i persevered, though, and i learnt how to use it to some extent (check out my DeviantArt gallery — and the scraps, too — to confirm). however, i've had to dispose of most of my knowledge about Yafray, because Yafaray is very different from it. sometime down the line, i started playing with Indigo and Luxrender. i liked both bcause of the great renders i saw, and disliked both because of the same reason — they are both unbiased renderers (which to me, means that they can take forever rendering if you let them. you stop the render when it's as good — think: noise or black spot free — as you want it). for the Basscom pen scene (look in my gallery for details), Indigo didn't render a texture (it only accepts UV-mapped textures), but Luxrender mauled it, so i preferred Indigo. that was until it went commercial (and i wish Nicholas Chapman and Ben Nolan success with Glare Technologies), and i started looking at Luxrender again.

so i worked hard last night to get my scene working well with both Yafaray and Luxrender, and left my lappie on all night rendering with Luxrender.

here's the Yafaray render (approx 2 minutes):

and here's the Luxrender render (6+ hours):

the materials suck, but it's a start. i'll see if i can dress it up some more and make it better. if you want the .blend file, please download it and the textures (you'll need to 'remap' them) from this link. please use, don't abuse. Edit: i almost forgot. yesterday was also my first time creating my own texture in Mapzone. it's the table texture. Mapzone is the only Windows-only software i used. everything else at runs on Linux and Mac OS X, but you might be able to use an emulation environment for it.

The Nigerian web is NOT ready for the mobile revolution

2009-06-01T08:18:00.001+01:00

yay...not! like i don't already have enough problems...

2009-05-22T20:29:00.003+01:00

…i can just see myself beating them away with a stick…

Something for a web editor!

2009-05-21T10:30:00.002+01:00

ok, i finished Fable: The Lost Chapters last night as a goody-two shoes with a halo round his head and ghostly butterflies who tossed Jack of Blades' mask away. and i have a mild headache. since i finished it (finally!), it's off my computer. maybe until i get bored again. but that's not what this post is about.

i have recently developed a strange condition called a 'conscience'. meaning i currently kick against the order of the day here in Nigeria, where pirated software and software license violations abound. for the most part, anyway. somehow, the old "i can't afford it" line seems old and worn to me (even though it's basically true for me anyway — some weeks back i was ranting about how some stock photography @ 100USD+ would cripple me financially). at least for now — maybe this time i won't be able to suppress my conscience again.

being an on/off software developer, i agree wholeheartedly that software developers should receive something for their efforts. and that's why i praise open source developers. the time and devotion needed to complete any software project is appalling. to continue development when you're not getting paid for it is praiseworthy. so i moved toward using freely available software (mostly open-source) for most of my work, including web development. unfortunately, since i'm getting older (and hopefully wiser), i lean more toward RAD ways and means, including WYSIWYG. since i'm not currently using Dreamweaver, and my web development tools of choice are of an 'edit source then preview' variety, i miss the design view of Dreamweaver. i've literally forsaken a project because i've no interest in hand-editing XHTML. so if anyone can recommend a non-sucky design-view-type freely available web editor, i'd be glad. i might even give something for it. definitely not my kingdom though. it may be small, but it's still quite valuable. well then, later.

First 'useful' Python script

2009-05-19T07:52:00.004+01:00

here's my first 'useful' Python script. it converts a Crosswire SWORD IMP file to the XML needed by OpenSong scripture files. if this is useful to you, please let me know. and please use, don't abuse. you can download it here. full source code available below, and you'll obviously need Python to use it. Want to try it out? Grab a SWORD module (raw ZIP only, please!, convert it to IMP by following these instructions as far as creating an IMP file is concerned, then use my script.

# imp2opensong - converts a SWORD IMP file to an OpenSong XML file
# author: lewzscruz
# date: 18-May-2009
# license: public domain, i guess. use, don't abuse
# version: 0.2 ('cause i only tested with one source file!)

def strip_markup(line):
    '''Strips ALL markup from a line'''
    temp = line

    while True:
        # get first opening angle bracket
        open_angle_pos = temp.find('<')

        # quit if there's none
        if open_angle_pos == -1:
            return temp

        # get first closing angle bracket
        close_angle_pos = temp.find('>', open_angle_pos)

        # strip out the markup
        temp = temp[:open_angle_pos] + temp[close_angle_pos + 1:]

# prompt for input and output files
sourcefile = open(raw_input('Where is the input file? '))
destfile = open(raw_input('Where should I put the output file? '), 'w')

# start writing
destfile.write('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>\n')
destfile.write('<bible>\n')

old_book = current_book = ''
old_chapter = current_chapter = ''
verse = ''

while True:
    # read lines till EOF
    line = sourcefile.readline()
    if line == '':
        break

    # trim the newline
    line = line[:-1]

    # don't do empty lines,
    # empty verses will be handled below
    if line == '':
        continue

    # and 'useless' lines
    if line.startswith('$$$['):
        continue

    # if we have a 'control' line
    if line.startswith('$$$'):
        # get the colon's location in the line...
        colon_pos = line.rfind(':')

        # ...and that of the space between the book name and the
        # chapter and verse
        lastspace_pos = line.rfind(' ')

        # ...now we know what book we're in...
        current_book = line[3:lastspace_pos]

        # ...the chapter...
        current_chapter = line[lastspace_pos + 1:colon_pos]

        # ...and the verse!
        verse = line[colon_pos + 1:]

        # if we changed books on this line,
        if old_book != current_book:
            # and we didn't just start,
            if old_book != '':
                # close the old chapter and book
                destfile.write('</c>\n')
                destfile.write('</b>\n')

            # start a fresh book
            old_book = current_book
            old_chapter = current_chapter = ''
            destfile.write('<b n="%s">\n' % (current_book,))
            continue

        # if we changed chapters,
        if old_chapter != current_chapter:
            # and it's not the beginning of a book,
            if old_chapter != '':
                # close previous chapter
                destfile.write('</c>\n')

            # start a fresh chapter
            old_chapter = current_chapter
            destfile.write('<c n="%s">\n' % (current_chapter,))

        # output real verses (there are fake ones in the source file),
        # including empty ones
        if verse != '0':
            # get the next line and strip the newline
            nextline = sourcefile.readline()[:-1]
            # output it, stripping any markup and whitespace
            destfile.write('<v n="%s">%s</v>\n' % (verse, strip_markup(nextline).strip()))

# finally, close the last chapter of Revelation,
# Revelation itself, and the Bible
destfile.write('</c>\n')
destfile.write('</b>\n')
destfile.write('</bible>\n')

# thanks for all the fish!
sourcefile.close()
destfile.close()

I want my mommy…

2009-05-14T06:37:00.001+01:00

…or so i'd like to say. But i can't. It's been over 5 years since my mom passed on. And since i'm not comfortable with the idea of talking with the departed, i'll just rant.

Mom should have been 50 today. My dad was telling me last night that if she was still here, he'd have organized a suprise party for her (she didn't like people making a fuss about her :)

ever since that day in January 5 years ago, we've done what we could to get along without her. And been rather successful at it. But sometimes, we crack. Like last night, when Dad's voice broke for a few seconds leading prayers. Or when i'm feeling particularly cut off from humanity. Or Dad's saying something crazy & i'm looking for someone to tell, "please come & take your husband!" (happens quite often actually XD). Anyhow, i'm about done here. We miss Mom. And we're grateful for the time we had with her.

I hate software license agreements

2009-05-10T21:34:00.008+01:00

today's rant started rather simply. i'd set my Facebook language to Pirates (English)— rather fun by the way, info courtesy Dade — and wanted to show some notifications I'd gotten via Twitter. I wanted something a little more than (Alt-)Print Screen, and could do some basic editing in it. I've used Techsmith's software offerings before, and they have a free lightweight screencap utility called Jing, and i decided to use that. then the fun began. i decided to actually read the license agreement for Jing, and by the time i got to the third paragraph i was tired of reading, for a couple of reasons:

the agreement is especially verbose. not a big surprise there. just one more reason for me to hate lawyers and the law in general. developers like to adhere to the KISS principle. why can't lawyers — at least when dealing with unlearned mortals?
the agreement looked like one gigantic wall of text (can you say gibberish?). call me lazy or stupid, but i finally agree: san-serif typefaces are much better for reading long blocks of text. the serifs just tend to drive you crazy. whenever i author on this blog, everything looks like a Matrix screen, so i tend to just concentrate on the part i'm just typing. sometimes i don't even pick up typos and whatnot because it's just plain hard to read (you get brownie points if you guess that the text is in a serif typeface, extra if you know that it's in a monospaced serif typeface. monospace has come to stay, but i'm beginning to think that monospace+serif = very bad idea.

i still don't know if the license asks me to murder my mother. and quite frankly, i really don't care. must it be so difficult to get software to use? even freeware? if i'm a measure of most people, license agreements are far too wordy and verbose to be of much interest/use to the people it affects the most. and i've no doubt in my mind that that is exactly what the lawyers want. did i mention i hate lawyers already? are you trying to help people or set traps for them, for crying out loud? i eventually installed Jing — without completing the license agreement — only to find that my internet was insane again and would not resolve Jing's mothership, the Screencast.com website. and since it's a new install, Jing didn't work. after uninstalling Jing and googling, i found Bug Shooting, another free screen capture software that has a smaller installer and a more readable license agreement. ~~yes, it appears to lack a feature that Jing has and i'm used to — auto-capturing a window (you have to manually select the window area yourself)~~, but i think that's not such a big problem if i can actually use the software, and it doesn't get in my way. Disclaimer: Jing is actually quite good. i've used it a bit, but i recommend you getting the not-free, but better-featured (and in my opinion, much better-behaved) Snagit if you can afford it. it probably worth the cash you'd fork out for it. i once got a free licence, but i wasn't in the mood for hunting it down where i'd backed it up.

anyhoo, here are screenshots of the respective license agreements for Jing and Bug Shooter. decide for yourself which one's easier to read (screenshots taken with Bug Shooting. and i still had to launch the GIMP to make the edits i wanted. picture i wanted to upload is here).

Jing

Bug Shooting

EDIT: double-clicking the Bug Shooting icon in the taskbar takes a screenshot of the currently focused window

Building Bridges

2009-05-08T13:39:00.003+01:00

I have my own little world, Surrounded by my toys and my dreams, I'm often occupied, Tinkering away, In my little bit of earth. One day I spied someone, Curiosity ate at me, I wanted to meet them, But they were in their own world. I had blocks you know, Toys I treasured, So many of them, But my growing wonder At the sight of another Could not be denied. I got to the edge of my world I leaned and stretched as far as I could Yet my arms and legs fell short. I wanted to weep, run away and give up, saying I had tried. Then a thought came to me "Build a bridge" "What with?" "Your valued toys" I fought the idea "What? Give up my toys?" "Start while they're still there" So I dropped one block, not sure it would stay. To my surprise, it hung in the air, and never did sway. I built a little bit more, then gingerly stepped, to see if it would hold, I i decided to step on it. Once again wonder filled me As my toys did hold my weight And I let go of my land. Since then I've built some more bridges, Some I've completed, and seen other worlds, Some never reached the other world, Since my desire turned cold. It was a day like any other, I was tinkering again, Somewhat older, hardened, much colder Concealing my pain. But you looked like the sun that parted the dark clouds, I felt a stirring, like a coming to life, and somehow some warmth flickered in this cold heart again. So I wanted to meet you, But my toys would not do. For as far as they could go, I'd already built. All I had left were my dreams, very precious and few, If I were to use them, then what would I do? But love pushed me forward, In tears did I build, For it counted you worthy To walk over my hopes. At last I have finished, This bridge of my heart, The causeway is narrow, But it plays its part. I hope to welcome you To my world, and live in yours But as I escort you, Yeats will inspire my lips and my only desire: "HAD I the heavens embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams."

God, please don't do something!

2009-04-23T07:00:00.002+01:00

Saturday was not the nicest day I've spent in a while. Church had a program that day and the next, and I had a number of responsibilities to handle, including the ones I normally have at home. On the good side, my brother was home for the weekend, so he could handle some of the chores at home. On the minus side, he had to go out, and I was just informed that morning that painters were supposed to come to the flat that day :(

So the day basically progressed…after the church program in the evening, I was supposed to go somewhere with some other folks — when the clouds turned dark for the umpteenth time that day — but they meant business this time. it started raining, and we weren't able to get bikes where we were headed because of the rain. Everyone fired up his "Legediz Benz" and started hurrying while being pelted. Someone then said, "God do something", and I (jokingly) remarked that what if God, acting mischievous, decided to turn the knob controlling the rain to "Heavy Rain"? It started as a joke, but the rain did indeed get heavier — we all got soaked through and through. Still being pelted by the rain, I brought up the issue, and we all agreed, "God, don't do something! Turn off the rain!"

Moral of the story? Don't ask God to do "something". Ask Him to do something specific. :D

Software gripes

2009-04-16T17:28:00.003+01:00

this post is fairly ordinary — it's just a rant about some software i've had to deal with today. this morning, i was using my brother's computer when iTunes informed me that there was an update. great. i decided to update it, only to be reminded why i no longer use iTunes — it's bundled with QuickTime. you can get QuickTime by itself, if memory serves me, but you can't get iTunes by itself. shame.

something similar happened today when updating Aptana Studio. i'd installed the basic distro quite all right, then i wanted to update it to get some functionality (Javascript libraries, etc). most everything went smoothly when i only installed functionality for the latest version of the Javascript libraries except YUI and MooTools. i'd install support for the latest supported version, restart Apatana Studio, and it would prompt me again. the problem went away for MooTools when i decided to install support for the older version as well. the problem for YUI is that the download is large, so installing support for older versions will just eat disk space and not give me any returns. sigh.

UPDATE: yes, installing support for versions 2.4 through 2.7 of YUI for Apatana Studio left no more complaints. whoopee.

I envy Python programmers

2009-04-09T11:27:00.002+01:00

I've sort of settled with a programming language I generally use, C#. I know other languages too, and sometimes I wish I did more Python programming. Python really simplifies programming. As an example, I coded an application recently that automated pushing form values to a web page. In C# 3.0, the code would look like this:


using System.Collections.Specialized;
using System.Net;
//...
var formData = new NameValueCollection { { "Var1", "Value1}, {"Var2", "Value2"}};
var webClient = new WebClient();
webClient.UploadValues("http://localhost/localapp.aspx", formData);

In Python 2.X, the code would look like this:


import urllib
#...
formData = urllib.urlencode({ "Var1" : "Value1", "Var2" : "Value2"})
urllib.urlopen("http://localhost/localapp.aspx", formData)

There's no error handling or anything special in this. This example is rather contrived, to be completely fair, but when you add other things like multivariable assignment, and take into consideration Python's standard library, you might understand why I'm envious. Ah well

Remarkable service

2009-04-02T10:16:00.002+01:00

Joel Spolsky has an excellent article on customer service. I didn't really think there was much to the article until someone shocked me by doing something like that for me

there are several ORM toolkits for the .NET platform, most notably NHibernate. i came across Habanero sometime back, and i can't remember how, but i tried using it for a project, and found out that the FireStarter tool didn't apparently support Windows authentication for SQL Server. i decided to send them feedback about this, and got an immediate email that my feedback had been received. nothing strange about that. what is remarkable was that i got an email from the Habanero team yesterday detailing some workaround that allowed me use Windows authentication with both Habanero and Firestarter. considering that i'm not a paying customer, i'm really impressed with this. here's a big one for the Habanero team!

I made my first "hit"…I can now retire…(lol)

2009-03-29T05:20:00.002+01:00

i've always had an interest in music. not merely as a listener and enjoyer of the audio arts, but i always wanted to make my own tracks. for fun and personal enjoyment. so i have a collection of VST instruments and effects, but i've never really gotten down to making any tracks. same as i've not done any 3D in a while :( anyhow, last night i got to being serious with at least making a 2-instrument track longer than 5 seconds :D so, in all its glory, i present to the world my lastest "hit" and expect those royalties to start coming in anytime soon (but i'm not holding my breath :D)

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Track details

eSnips Social DNA

Flop “Date”

2009-03-26T21:24:00.002+01:00

it began with a call: “B's taking us to the movies, but insists O comes with a date, so…”. i'm a pretty solo kinda person. i don't really come into contact with people for the most part of the week. we're less than 10 at the office and only two in my area of it, and then i go home where it's just family — i rarely even see, much less talk to the neighbours. my phone rarely rings or beeps outside work hours. it's a life i'm used to — it sucks, but at least i know it.

but this date thing caught me offguard. even though i prepared for it, told my dad i would be having a sleepover, i was still reluctant to go. O called me on the morning, and thought i didn't have her number cause of the way i spoke. at any rate, i stayed late at the office. after waiting for the ladies to show up, we went to see Watchmen at the Palms. first time i ever went to the movies — and of all the movies to see, i just had to go watch Watchmen. as far as i'm concerned, very bad choice (plus some of my popcorn got lifted).

i basically glowered most of the movie, especially after the popcorn was gone. the ladies didn't seem to like it either, since they paid more active attention to me than the movie. i was basically regretting the waste of my time in something i didn't enjoy. i have my own timewasters — but i at least enjoy them. i pushed the feeling that i was the group wet blanket away several times, and did nothing to improve my mood or attitude (yes, i know. sue me — i'm a far more skilled jerk than nice guy). anyhoo, my date complains later that i ignored her. i keep my usual sarcasm in check and basically say nothing. she's basically saying something i already know about me: i suck at relating with humans. odd. because despite my fighting it i remain human.

The Middle Wife

2009-03-25T16:19:00.002+01:00

my dad sent this to me, and i felt it was too good to pass up. here y'all go:

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.' She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshh heew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest.. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs.. I know what I did!!!

Provoking a Blessing

2009-03-23T19:23:00.003+01:00

today, i was reminded about what it means to provoke a blessing. normally, the word “provoke” is used in a negative context; but i like what the Free Online Dictionary says: “to give rise to, to evoke; to bring about deliberately”. that's what happened today. i was rushing off to work this morning, and somehow dropped my wallet in the bus i took. there wasn't much money in the wallet, but it did contain my ID cards, some business cards and my ATM card. i was tempted to despair — just how deeply, i'll leave you to guess. but i decided that i'd walk in faith about it and remembered telling God that i give the tithe, and so the devourer is rebuked for my sake. i went back home and dropped my laptop off, then started coming over to work.

when i got to work, i found that someone had called my office saying i'd dropped my wallet. i wasn't sure about calling back since he might have called from a business line. when he didn't call most of the day — and i'd confirmed that he did call from a business line, i was tempted again to despair. i decided to keep trusting God's word instead, regardless of how i felt. i left the office not having heard from the finder. on my way home, my colleague sent me a text saying the guy had called from a business line and i should call him back. i set up a meeting, but it still didn't feel like the guy would return my wallet. after getting home, i waited till the meeting time then. i had mixed feelings — joy that i'd be getting my wallet back, and a temptation that it was just a game. to cut the story short, the person who found my wallet showed up. he was a secondary school kid. i gave him what i could, and wanted to clear off, but i didn't feel satisfied. i decided to pray for him there on the street, but i still didn't feel like i'd “hit” it. it's the second time in less than a week i've had this feeling. this first was when my sister came over when we were out and helped us with cooking and me with my laundry.

when i got home, i was still praying for him. i guess i kind of understand how God felt when Solomon offered a thousand burnt offerings to Him. there're just some things you do that make people want to bless you. i experienced God's blessing today, and someone was used by Him, and i felt provoked to share that blessing with him. that's all. except i got my wallet and its contents (complete with the N10 in it :D) without having to go to the police or do any funny stuff. and the wallet came back to me. i couldn't have gone looking for it anyway. coincidence? i think not.

Refactored code...which is better?

2009-03-21T07:19:00.005+01:00

this morning, i was editing some code, and Resharper warned me about a possible System.NullReferenceException. i'd been bitten before by this in the same code, but that was because i didn't understand how XmlReader worked then. here is the original code:


MessageDatabase messageDatabase = null;
MessageTable messageTable = null;

while (configReader.Read())
{
  if (configReader.NodeType == XmlNodeType.Element)
  {
    // ...
    if (configReader.Name == "messagedatabase")
    {
      messageDatabase = new MessageDatabase();
      messageDatabase.Name = 
        configReader.GetAttribute("name");
      MessageDatabases.Add(messageDatabase);
    }
    if (configReader.Name == "messagetable")
    {
       messageTable = new MessageTable();
       messageTable.Name =
        configReader.GetAttribute("name");
       messageDatabase.MessageTables.Add(messageTable);
    }
    if (configReader.Name == "identityfield")
      messageTable.IdentityFieldName =
        configReader.ReadElementString();
    // ...

as you can probably tell, it's supposed to parse an XML file and convert it into a bunch of objects. nothing wrong with that. it takes into account the structure of the XML and makes an assumption based on that, namely, the <messagedatabase> element is always processed before the <messagetable> element, so messageDatabase will be set to an existing MessageDatabase object before any MessageTable instance is created.

a more explicit version of the code is shown below:


while (configReader.Read())
{
  if (configReader.NodeType != XmlNodeType.Element) continue;
  // ...
  if (configReader.Name == "messagedatabase")
  {
    var messageDatabase = new MessageDatabase
    {
      Name = configReader.GetAttribute("name")
    };
    MessageDatabases.Add(messageDatabase);
  }
  if (configReader.Name == "messagetable")
  {
    var index = MessageDatabases.Count - 1;
    var messageTable = new MessageTable
    {
      Name = configReader.GetAttribute("name")
    };
    var currentDb = MessageDatabases[index];
    currentDb.MessageTables.Add(messageTable);
  }
  if (configReader.Name == "identitfyfield")
  {
    var dbIndex = MessageDatabases.Count - 1;
    var currentDb = MessageDatabases[dbIndex];
    var tblIndex = currentDb.MessageTables.Count - 1;
    var currTbl = currentDb.MessageTables[tblIndex];
    currTbl.IdentityField =
      configReader.ReadElementString();
  }

while this is more explicit, the code is simply more. for each property of the MessageTable, i must get the index of the last database and the last table in it, and then set the values accordingly. that plain sucks.

there was one good thing about writing this post: i finally thought about where i could optimize the loop that advances configReader, and added continue statements where they wouldn't cause exceptions. :D

Done in very cleanly by Opera Mini

2009-03-08T06:23:00.003+01:00

i had an emergency, and needed to send someone an email. i'd just installed Opera Mini, and decided to acutally use it instead of my phone's default browser. i logged into GMail, opened the mail i wanted to forward, and began forwarding it. i had to attach a file, so i copied it to my phone's memory card and attached it with no hassles. the problem was that every time i clicked 'Send', GMail would belch up an error concerning an invalid email address, which came to something like “/tmp/<gobbledygook>”. i resent this email thrice, to the same effect. Opera Mini is a great mobile browser. but i'm really shaken, as this is my first time using it, and i had this problem. ah well. since my main internet came up, i no longer needed to send the mail (which incidentally, was saved in my 'Drafts' folder).

How I use Python

2009-02-28T12:51:00.002+01:00

i love Python. i find it one of the most expressive programming languages i know. It's saved my bacon quite a number of times. for instance, when i generate test data for other applications i write, i generally generate the data (and usually the SQL to insert it into a database) with Python. also, when it comes to sorting data, it's much faster to write scripts to do basic data sorting (as an example, sorting out CDRs from Asterisk) in Python than it is in most languages. today was no exception. i had loads of numbers to send text messages to and i needed to weed out invalid destinations. for the first 50 or so, it was easy enough (but tiresome) to do by hand. when i started to look at just how many, i decided to write a script to help me sort out the numbers. abut 10 minutes later (mostly spent trying to create regular expressions that would do just what i wanted), i was done. and most of the program worked beautifully (well, there were some hiccups. i'm not perfect!)

The value of multiple cores

2009-02-20T13:10:00.004+01:00

my laptop uses an AMD Turion 64 processor that clocks in about 1.8GHz. i've always thouht it was a pretty good one — at least until this morning. i've never been faced with the value of multiple-core processors personally as today. what happened is i was trying to get back into design & 3D, so i decided to model & render items i could find around me. so i started modeling this: after modeling and setting up the scene in Blender to render with Indigo, i started a render. almost six and a half hours into the render, it looks like this: then i take the scene to the office and try rendering on a Pentium Dual Core 2.0Ghz. about four and a half hours later, it look like this: obviously the second render is better. and it ran for a shorter time. i'm officially jealous! i want a multiple-core system now! :D

Accessing SQL Server (2005+) databases in .NET Windows services

2009-02-18T17:39:00.003+01:00

just a simple quickie here. i completed my application (somewhat...do we ever really complete applications?) - and the service it was meant to configure — then found out that while it ran beautifully in console mode, it just sat there after connecting to the SMPP server. i kept wondering what the problem was. much later i realized that the service was created to run using the local Service account, which is a low-privileged account. as such, it cannot connect using Windows authentication to SQL Server versions that support it. in reality, this is the second time i've faced this issue. at any rate, all i needed to do was change the service to run under the local System account (a highly privileged account) and the problem was solved. another solution would probably be to use SQL Server authentication, which Microsoft doesn't recommend. yet running a service using the local system account is also seen as a bad idea. i guess you'll need to make a tradeoff to solve this problem.

by the way, this is the app i was complaining about. . many thanks to Component Factory for the excellent (and free) Krypton Toolkit.

Weird issue in Visual Studio

2009-02-17T14:28:00.002+01:00

i was working on the config application for a service i wrote...but i ran into something really strange:

The Matador

2009-01-29T22:34:00.003+01:00

Just now I was having dinner, and the TV was on. We're subscribed to DStv, and while I usually don't watch TV, my computer was busy in the room, so I had to manage until I was done with dinner. M-Net Movies was showing The Matador, and I just happened to watch the scene where Bean (Hope Davis) wakes up and meets Danny (Greg Kinnear) having breakfast. They start kissing and then it gets heavier; Bean asks Danny if he has enough time, Danny already strips to his shorts when he shouts, "Tree!" — and a tree crashes into their kitchen. I could hardly stop laughing. I don't care how hard your hard-on is—a tree crashing where you want to have sex will put a stop to that quickly. No, I didn't stick around to watch the rest of the movie (it's still running now). Oddly enough, while reading about the movie, I found out that Danny asks Bean if she's still horny after the tree crashes. Is he an idiot or what?. Now if I were God...